my boyfriend's parents HATE me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
my boyfriend's parents HATE me!
4
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 7:52pm

I am a 38 year old divorced woman (after 12 years of marriage) and the mother of three children, ages 4, 7 and 10.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 11:12pm

Welcome to the board mfmiami,


Well, even if this is true:

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 9:45am

This is a complicated and difficult situation. In fact, it can be just too much to cut off and lose one's family, even if one does love another person. It is not that he is weak, it is that this is too much for him to do. Losing one's entire family can create a great deal of depression, anxiety and also anger towards the individual that caused this. Given this situation, it seems to me that your relationship really has nowhere to go. If you did get him to leave them and cut them off, it seems inevitable here that there would be a great backlash and negatively effect your relationship as well.


It is not that you are not a nice person, his parents rejection of you has to do with your age and the fact that you are divorced with two children and he is quite a bit younger and never married. It goes against their values and hopes for their son. As this situation has been going on for a long time and your boyfriend has not been able to alter it, I strongly suggest that you realize that this the way it will be. If you want more in a relationship, if you want to re-marry or be part of your partner's family, then it is time to move on.


Two people can love each other deeply and yet their situations can prevent them from going forward or being happy together in the long run. It seems as though that is the case here. Rather than blame him, his family or yourself, just look at this in the broadest context and realize that it may be

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 10:33am

WOW - what great advice and while it's hard to hear - it's nothing I haven't considered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 11:59am

I agree that with that statement it seems he is agreeing with his parents.