My ex fiancée

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2013
My ex fiancée
8
Sun, 07-28-2013 - 6:23pm

I have a odd story to tell. My ex fiancée just recently got married last June. call took his wife and moved to New York from another state. My ex still calls from time to time. My ex ask questions like, " how am I doing?" He ask if I'm seeing anyone. :/ Which is odd.. Cause he is married! Last phone call my ex fiancée told me he " "could only call me, not to call him." He told me he was going to leave his facebook open, so.. I could see his pictures of him."He also said, "if he had not of got in trouble, we would still be together and had a baby by now. I got a new boyfriend and he got mad, called my cell phone cusing out my boyfriend. The ex and my new boyfriend texted back and forth. My ex called my dads cell and told my dad, "not to let my ex come over at the house any more!" What is wrong with this dude? Why does my ex fiancée want to know my every move? Also, why does ex fiancée want to keep contact with me? This is driving me insane! It's like my ex fiancée don't want me to get on with my own life. But... Why? He is married with a child on the way! Yet.. calling me from time to keep tabs on me? Telling everyone, he has met a great woman of his dreams! Please help? What could this mean? I just want to live a happy life! My ex wanted to know not long ago, ex fiancée called my cell wanting to know, when am I going to get married, have kids be happy? What could this possibly mean? Please help? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 07-28-2013 - 8:23pm

Why did you keep in touch with your ex-fiance in the first place?  Block his calls, tell your friends and family you two were over X amount of time ago. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2013
Sun, 07-28-2013 - 9:37pm
The only reason he kept in contact was to make sure I'm doing ok. We have been apart since 2006. He still face booked me or found a way to contact me. He would ask people that knew me where I lived, what I was doing etc. We had kept contact for friendly reasons. That was it. I wasn't married or in a relationship when I talked to him. He had a few girlfriends, but he would always keep contact with me. If I did block him in anyway, he would call or message from some other persons account. The point is he is now married and now has a baby on the way. Why.. Would he risk what he has to contact me?? Just saying.. :/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 07-28-2013 - 9:42pm

Well maybe somehow he never got over you--or he's one of those guys where it's ok that he moved on and found someone else but you should still be alone.  Since we don't know him, it's hard to tell.  But I'd just tell him to stop calling you & tell him you aren't interested in what he's doing.  He probably gets an ego boost if he finds out that your current BF is mad that he is calling you.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 07-29-2013 - 3:19am

Some men think that they own every woman that they have dated or sexed in the past.  Dump him.  This is truly a time for no contact.  Just delete him from your life.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 9:18am

The only reason he kept in contact was to make sure I'm doing ok. We have been apart since 2006. He still face booked me or found a way to contact me. He would ask people that knew me where I lived, what I was doing etc. We had kept contact for friendly reasons. That was it.

Regardless, you ALLOWED that to happen. 

Why.. Would he risk what he has to contact me?? Just saying.. :/

You can ask why till your head explode and may never get the answer.  Why he does what he does it out of your control, but you do have complete control of what you do.  Agree with Xxxs 100%.  Don't like him calling you, your ex, and everybody in your family tree?  Practice no contact or stop complaining.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 1:50pm

I completely agree with Demontespan. Stop taking your ex's calls and block his account. If he calls from a different number, hang up. Change your phone number and email address if needed.

It is quite simple really.

Chances are he will eventually get the hint and leave you alone. The reason he is doing this does not matter. The more you feed into it and respond, the longer it will continue. Your ex is married now and is his current wife's problem. He doesn't need to be yours any more. Concentrate on your new relationship instead.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 7:40pm

Well, he either never got over you, still wants to keep you in tow just in case his marrige doesn't work, or he doesn't want you to move on.

But, like the others said.  It doesn't matter.  Ignore, ignore, ignore.  He'll get the hint. 

Last thing you want is any kind of mix up or confusion if you try to reply or answer to tell him to stop.  If you don't want to talk to someone, you don't call and tell them "I don't want to talk to you."  You simply stop talking to them!

Good luck and move forward with your new love. 

 

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 08-01-2013 - 12:44am

What does it mean?  It means you talk to him instead of just blocking his calls and moving on with your life.  He said "if he hadn't 'gotten in trouble'" you'd still be together?  Does that mean he got someone pregnant?  That means he was cheating on you.  It is none of his business what you do or who you do it with, you encourage his attention by replying to him.  Stop talking to him.  Tell him to stop calling you, and if he doesn't, then block his calls.  Tell your father not to talk to him too.  I don't believe you allow this to continue....you're encouraging it by feeding his ego.  You must be enjoying the attrention and jealousy, because you're encouraging it.