My ex thinks I'm dishonest

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
My ex thinks I'm dishonest
3
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 11:05pm
My girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me earlier this week because I had lied to her twice over the past few months. One of the the lies was that I had forgotten to call her because I didn't have my cell phone with me, when she eventually found out that I did. I lied to her here because I didn't want her to feel bad that I didn't call her.

The second lie was on V-Day when I had told her earlier that I made reservations at a restaurant and I had actually forgotten. When I tried to make the reservations the place was all booked up.

She has every right to not trust me and I regret my actions. It has really bothered me over the past week.

I was thinking of writing her an email explaining my actions. What will she think of such an email? I'm not necessarily trying to get her back and I won't ask for a second chance, I just want her to know that I care for her and am regretful of what I did.

Do you think I should write such an email? Will it serve any purpose? Should I wait for her to cool off before I write anything?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 11:09pm
If you did wrong and are genuinely sorry, an apology is the right thing to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 2:55am

well. with all due respect, its not that she "thinks" you are dishonest ---- lets face it, you ARE dishonest. you may believe that your intentions were honorable, you may believe that your heart was in the right place, but bottom line is you DID lie, and not once, but more than once. and if *I* were your gf, i would be sitting and thinking "well, if he lied about such inconsequential matters, then what IMPORTANT things is he lying about". in short = the trust is not there.


from what you are describing - you lied because you were afraid to face the truth, afraid that she would be mad at you, afraid of the consequences. if you look back on your life - you will probably see that this is a pattern. all you can right now, IMHO, is fix "YOUR" problem. get help for yourself, learn why you did this, and accept your responsibilities, and move on.


regarding your EX: i don't know her. you might give her some time to cool off and then apologize, but undertand that you are APOLOGIZING not trying to get back together. if you deal with this problem, and overcome it, maybe in the future you would have a chance to get back together.


good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 7:30pm
Don't weenie out with an impersonal e-mail. Take the time to get out the paper and pencil and put your feelings in writing, then mail it to her. I promise, she will be impressed. Good Luck