my fault?
Find a Conversation
my fault?
| Mon, 08-25-2008 - 2:57pm |
Sigh.. so me and my boyfriend, or maybe i should get use to saying ex, got into a fight last weekend.
| Mon, 08-25-2008 - 2:57pm |
Sigh.. so me and my boyfriend, or maybe i should get use to saying ex, got into a fight last weekend.
"I told him to drive me home in which while i was speaking to him i grabbed his face and he grabbed my wrist and we got into a tug of war in the car."
WHY WOULD YOU GRAB THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO IS DRIVING
Hi goddess,
In my opinion, I think the damage has already been done, and your ex is right, why would he get back with someone that is so extreme with anger like that? It seems like it turned into a nasty fight and with the way you acted, I don't think he would want anything to do with you. If you got an email from him and it listed everything he hated about you, would you want anything to do with him?? I don't think so. You have to move on and get some professional help for your anger issues. Sorry you are going through this.
"Seek to understand and you will be understood"
"Seek to understand and you will be understood"
IMHO you are caring way too much about this relationship and not enough about your mental health. Right now you are in an abusive relationship and you are an abuser (if not THE abuser). Get help, now. If he stays with an abusive person then it means HE is also mentally unhealthy. Right now this is not a good relationship for either of you. Your anger issues are way too overbearing, and he SHOULD leave you. The decision to touch your partner in a way that is not loving is the decision to have an abusive relationship rather than a loving one. Right now you are not a good person to be with, periwinkle. Work on being a good person to be with. It is NOT going to help you to focus on your attachment to this abusive relationship over taking steps to heal your anger. First things first, or you will end up ruining your chances with every man you encounter.
Mental health takes a lot of commitment and you have to put your well-being before all else. Please make an appointment with a counselor who specializes in anger management today. I have dealt with anger management issues myself (in other people) and it is impossible to overcome on your own. PLEASE read the following book: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner. It may help you to warm up first before you talk to a specialist, but seeing a counselor or psychologist (better) is still absolutely necessary. I know it sounds sucky to have to forgo putting your relationship first in your life, but if you do not focus on managing your anger you will CERTAINLY, rather than right now's "probably", lose him for good.
Yes, this is your fault.
Welcome to the board goddess_periwinkle,
You've gotten some good insight. I hope you can step back and really take it in.
Managing your anger is a must. Even if you don't get him back.