my forever love ex
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| Thu, 06-05-2008 - 9:14pm |
Ok backround. My ex and I were deeply, passionately, and hopelessly in love. In the begining of our relationship he stopped by my place and found that I was there with the man I had been seeing before him. I was telling that man how I had fallen in love and couldn't see him anymore. My ex assumed we were fooling around and never really trusted me. I was innocent (foolish perhaps but innocent all the same) We dated for a year anyway. He moved in. We took his 5 year old daughter on weekends. We were a very happily family, cept for when jealousy reared it's ugly head. And was it ugly. One day he came home and told me he couldn't do it anymore. He'd already started dating someone else. Apparently it was him that was the cheater. We never really even had a fight, it was just suddenly over. I am devastated. i loose 30 pounds (from not eating) and move to Puerto Rico. I get my head straight.
Now. It's two years later. He's still with that same girl, but has been calling me the whole time telling me how much he loves me and misses me. I only know about her because of her myspace page. He never admits about still being with her until the other night, when he tells me he misses me and thinks of me all the time and that he's grown and he sees how foolish he acted with me, then tells me he's still with her, but feels like a zombie, just going through the motions of their relationship.
Although I've healed and finally learned to put both myself and God before any man, I still can't help but feel insanely in love with him. I know he still loves me to. It's in his voice. I know I've had time to think things through but he's still clouded by not taking time to even breathe between myself and her. He's talking about coming to visit me in the fall, we still have so much to talk about.
Help!!!! I can think of no other man but him. I miss his daughter like crazy. She always asks about me. i want my happy family back. Am i crazy? What do I do? The heart wants what it wants.

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Be very careful before you jump back into a relationship with this man. First of all, he's cheating again, he's still with someone and now reaching out to you. Some men begin to long for a woman once they feel she's emotionally gone and they've lost her. Then when they get her, it's back to the same old patterns. Patterns do not change. You went through a great deal of pain with him. I would not see him unless he had already decided to leave her and also unless he agreed to see a therapist with you. As I said, these patterns are deep and do repeat, unless people get professional help with them. You said you got your head straight. Don't mess it up, unless you are absolutely sure he has already decided to leave her and has left. Otherwise you could get into another bind of him "trying to decide" and driving you crazy once agan. If he really wants you, he'll do the right thing - leave her first and also get into therapy to work out these issues.
Best wishes,
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"tells me he's still with her, but feels like a zombie, just going through the motions of their relationship. "
Do NOT fall for this line of crap.
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