My guy and I aren't having sex anymore
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My guy and I aren't having sex anymore
| Mon, 06-07-2004 - 8:26pm |
My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year and a half. Lately we have had month long spells of no sex. Sometimes it's a couple months. We work different shifts and he doesn't get off work until late evening and sometimes we're too tired but even on days off...nothing. I am getting extremely frusterated and he doesn't seem too concerned. I have asked him why the lack of sex and he says he just doesn't desire it sometimes and doesn't expand much beyond that. Besides the sex life, our relationship is great! We get along wonderfully, he always expresses how much he loves, we are always kissing or hugging or wrestling around. Our relationship is very intimate, but no sex. Of course this is starting to take a toll on my self-esteem. I am feeling unwanted and now don't even have the confidence to initiate sex for fear of rejection. I need advice big time! I don't want this issue to eventuallty be the ruin of our relationship. Why do you think he's so uninterested? This isn't normal for a 25 year old man! Help!!

Did you have a bad experience that would make him create an aversion to sex with you? Has he been working a lot of hours? Or seeing someone else?
Maybe you just need quality/alone time. Take a long hot shower, put on something that makes you feel beautiful, have a nice meal. But don't bring up the subject - wait and see what happens.
The alternative is to seek counseling or dig around in the Dr. Ruth boards.
hugs honey -
No, you're right. This isn't normal for a 25 year old man and it isn't healthy, not for him or for you. He's acting as though the sexual part doesn't matter and brushing it off - but it matters a great deal. As you wisely said in your email, not having sex on an on-going basis is bad for your self esteem and you can easily begin to feel undesirable. This can lead to other kinds of complications as well. Right now what you have is a fine friendship. It is not a male- female romantic relationship. He's become a roommate. In order to continue this
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