my guy is playful/aggressive

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
my guy is playful/aggressive
1
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 2:57pm
I have never run into this situation. I have been dating this guy whom I am really falling for, he is really great in every way, except one thing kind of makes me uncomfortable... probably because I jsut don't know how to react. He seems to enjoy acting like he's 10, and he will keep messing with me to annoy me. like he will incessantly tap my arm or flick my ears or tickle me to death, or gleek at me or something dumb like that. I kind of think its cute actually, but I would feel more comfortable if I knew why he was doing this. There is one theory though, he used to kiss me right when he say me and ravage me like an animal, so he was a lot more affectionate. But i used to back off when he kissed me right when he first saw me because i wasnt really prepared to be ravaged. so maybe i think he is still wanting to be physical but he is feeling insecure about showing any affection. How can I turn it back around? And, is that kind of behavior really that unusual?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 3:29pm
openyourize...

There are SOME MEN out there who are built like adult males, but have the 'heart and soul' of a child! Sometimes they think their behavior is CUTE...when it could actually be VERY ANNOYING! But in defense of the other males reading this, Pianoguy knows that there are women who exhibit similar traits! So here's a suggestion...

You have to "let your 10-year old" know what's comfortable...and what's uncomfortable for you! If you're going to give him mixed signals...that you kind of like the tapping, flicking, tickling or gleeking...but only at certain times, you'll puzzle the heck out of us! "Shifting gears" from one minute to the next....STINKS!

Since your man will probably continue to 'test the waters with you'---why put yourself through the frustration? Tell him what you like about him...and then...tell him which of his habits really drive you BANANAS! Don't beat up on the guy by mentioning EVERYTHING! Just bring up "the few" that really bother you! By doing this, you'll probably eliminate some of the frustration!

As far as being "ravaged" in the past...and the type of way you want to be treated...what's wrong with sitting him down (in a calm, quiet, non-sexual setting) AND LETTING HIM KNOW WHICH OF HIS ACTIONS TURN YOU ON...AND WHICH MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE?

How are we supposed to know...if you don't give us a clue???

Pianoguy