My H is attracted to my sister

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
My H is attracted to my sister
7
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 10:39pm
I am at a complete loss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 1:47am
I'm sorry you're experiencing this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 11:15am

Maybe it WAS what she was wearing? There are times when men stare at women even if they aren't specifically attracted to them. I don't think you should dwell on whether or not he is attracted to her, because that's not really important or possible to prove with his denial. Also, if he was attracted to her, short of A Clockwork Orange procedures, you won't be able to change it.

But staring is really creepy and inappropriate, and he needs to change his behavior. Especially if other people (specifically her husband!) are noticing it, not just you. If saying, "I just wanted you to know that other people besides myself noticed you staring at my sister, and it's inappropriate. Please be conscious of it in the future" doesn't work, then yes maybe your sister should say something to him herself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
Sat, 01-05-2008 - 10:10pm

I agree with the previous poster. Does your husband know that your sister's husband has also noticed his staring?? I think if he doesn't you should definitely make him aware of this, because it WILL cause problems for people other than yourself, which will in turn embarass you even more. Has your husband behaved this way with other women or just your sister? Because it does seem odd that a grown man can't seem to control himself at all around an attractive woman. I mean, I can understand that your sister is attractive, but so are many other women, so does he act like this around every attractive woman that he comes in contact with?


I would say, that if your sister's husband is also noticing his staring you need to tell him to stop because he's making a scene. The fact that he's

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 11:54am

Welcome to the board mom-lv2ski,


I think if you haven't already you should tell your husband that your brother-in-law has even commited about his behavior towards your sister so you know that it isn't just you.


Other than that, I am sorry to say that I don't have much advice for you. I don't think you should let his behavior get in the way of your relationship with your sister.


I am sorry you have to go through this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 2:52pm
Yeah, I think you should talk to your sister about it. If her husband has noticed it, she must notice it too, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 3:14pm

I may be the lone hold out here, but this is a problem between you and DH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 11:48am

One thing I see is that many of these posts involve embarrassment. Either the OP or the OP's husband.

I think it is quite possible to embarass her husband enough to get him to stop, but is that really the solution you want? I think no.

You want him to realize that this is a problem because it is putting a lot of strain on the marriage. Even if you have told him before it is possible that he didn't fully understand how much this bothers you.

The root problem seems to be a trust issue. He either doesn't trust you enough to tell you that he thinks your sister, and you don't trust what he told you.

If you can establish a really open level of communication the problem will take care of itself.