My heart says one thing but my gut and head say something else....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
My heart says one thing but my gut and head say something else....
8
Mon, 06-06-2011 - 12:23pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
I've never been through anything like this - hopefully another poster who has can share some of their perspective.

However, I do know that when you are in a situation that is unhealthy, making you miserable, and is draining you, you should take action to either make changes, or to leave. But remaining stagnant and allowing things to remain as they are is not the right choice for you.

So yes, you might have to remove yourself from this man's life, but if you want to try to make it work, you can find a way to change the dynamics of your relationship. Which could be extremely difficult, and probably demands counseling of some kind.....

Either way Mom2babm, the decision you make should move you in a direction towards being healthy and happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

It sounds like the responsibilities for this relationship are unbalanced, and becoming more unbalanced as it progresses.

I usually suggest someone go with their gut when it comes to relationships, as relying on emotions is not rational.

You are looking at having to pay for daycare for a child that is not yours, and you haven't yet been reimbursed from before.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You don't want to be alone anymore?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

When someone wants to stay in a miserable situation because they dont' want to be alone, I really want to come over there & shake you & say "snap out of it."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003

as harsh as it may sound.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

"My son does not know about the drinking and driving - it is none of his business"