My Hurt Feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2007
My Hurt Feelings
2
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 2:24pm

I've been married for almost 3 months. I love my wife and I'm glad we're together. We have always had a hard time communicating. I'm the type who likes to share what they feel, think and need. My wife is the quiet type who closes up when she is stressed and then takes it out on me later.
I love doing things for her. When she asks me to get her some water, her contacts, clothes from the dryer, stuff from the car etc. I am more then willing to do it. I serve her b/c I love her. When I ask her for some help with things she huffs and puffs and grumbles. Most of the time she will get out of doing it b/c of her reaction.

What do I do to help her communicate what she feels,wants and needs? And at the same time not have her feel that I am attacking her when I tell her what I need, feel and want in the relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: azmesa
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 2:34pm

Welcome to the board azmesa,


Sounds like you show love with Acts of Service and you might benefit from the book Five Love Langagues, by Gary Chapman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
In reply to: azmesa
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 12:35pm
A relationship based on one-sided giving will never change until the giver changes it. Your fear of losing her is possibly what keeps you locked into this one-sided situation. I don't know if the relationship can get beyond this level of interaction, because you are probably unable to change what you are doing, out of fear of losing the one you love. Generally, this kind of one-sided relationship reaches a point where the giver feels totally burned out -- or