My husband Is Angry and Silent

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
My husband Is Angry and Silent
4
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 7:47am
I am not sure if this will help but I don't know what else to do. Where do I start....??

My husband and I have been married what will be 7 years next July, we are both 27 years old and full time College students. This semester he has flat out quit talking to me unless I cry or get angry. I refuse to do either now so it is silence most of the time. In the last week the feeling that something was going on with him intensified 10 fold and I took a risk last night and did something I normally wouldnt do. I checked the history on his laptop to see if maybe he was having an affair. What I found was that the most often fequented links he has been to in the last week are teen and incest story sites. I was discusted and sick to my stomache!!! I honestly don't know what to think!!! My husband did not meet his mother until he was 15 years old and was raised by a drug addict and alcoholic father, I do not mind my husband looking at adult porn one bit as I am not in the least bit a jealous person but this sickens me, especially as a former victim of Childhood molestation by a family member! I truly don't know what to do!!!!!!! I feel like my world is spinning out and my heart is breaking!




Edited 4/8/2004 8:05 am ET ET by dragondiva77

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 10:46am
I have found that most of the people I've known who didn't have much to say were silent because they evidently didn't feel like they could talk about what they were thinking about. Sometimes, silent people can have valid reasons for not talking much, and sometimes they're just perverts or something. It sounds like your husband is the latter. I would be VERY concerned about the sites he's visiting. I'm sorry for your pain! It kind of sounds like the pain of the past is repeating itself, but I wouldn't blame yourself. It can be tricky to get-away from a bad things. My best advice would be to find people you can trust to confide in, even if they're professionals, outside your family, etc. This is not something you should have to handle on your own, in my opinion. This man apparently has sick, perverted tendencies and could be potentially dangerous. I know that a person can feel like they know someone, but for some, if there's been enough trouble, they can just learn to tune out the bad stuff. Be happy with yourself that you had the courage to check it out. I strongly recommend that you seek some supports for yourself. Best wishes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 1:06pm

I would def. confront him on this issue...Im also not totally against porn... but i also beleive that theres a line, and he crossed it. Dont give in on this issue and trust your instincts.


Keep us posted.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:02am
I havent replied before now because alot has been happening, the next morning after I posted that letter on here I confronted my husband with what I found. I told him he could either go with me to my Pscychiatrist appointment and explain himself to her and me or he could get out that instant. I felt violated, and refused to feel that way again. He chose to go to the appointment with me where he confessed he had been arranging to leave me for some time, to just dissapear. anyways to make a long painful story short, he is gone for good, as soon as I can aford the divorce I will put him behind me and never again ignore my instincts! thank you for the advice and support! you are a true gem!!

DragonDiva
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:05am
And thanks to cl-marsexpert too!:)