My husband's not attracted to me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2011
My husband's not attracted to me...
22
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 12:16am

I've been married 2 years

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 12:28am

Your husband sounds like a real jerk!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 1:44am
Travel girl- reading your post, what stand out most to me is that your husband is very insecure, embarrassed maybe due to his job performance, and looking in all the wrong places to get happiness. That has to come from within himself. He actually said he didn't notice your curviness because he was in love? For real? That is a lie. Don't you dare believe that. I hope that you are losing weight because YOU want to. How horrible for you to not enjoy what you eat because of him and his own low sense of self worth. I think that in your life you can only go up. Right now he is dead weight. Maybe time for just one more serious talk? This tell him you will not lose one pound for him. You will not be told you are defective in anyway. Tell him that you don't feel loved when he shows no affection. Tell him you want him to love you just as you are and will be after children. If he can't do or is unwilling, or whatever excuse he provides, I KNOW there is some other man out there that will love every inch of you and wouldn't want to change one thing! Good luck,
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 9:12am

I agree with fissatore. I'm sorry. I think she's right that you could look at this situation as: "I jumped into this marriage too quickly but this is not the man for me"

Your life partner should be a person who makes you feel good about yourself. I think if you spend any longer with someone who is so damaging emotionally, your self-esteem may be irreparably ruined. This has nothing to do with your weight - Insofar as weight loss will not cure this problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 11:51am

I wouldn't tell someone to just go right out & get divorced (unless there is abuse going on) util they at least try counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2011
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 10:43pm

Thank you all for the advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 12:17am

IMO, your husband is being very honest and open . Attraction changes. Its seems you dont want to lose weight. Dont you worry about your health and looking good ? If you are not taking care of you , why would someone else ,especially your husband .Its not his job to make you feel great if you are fat.You need to work on yourself. Join a gym, get a personal trainer, get an eating plan.

Instead of going to counsellor, go to gym and burn that fat , for yourself , not him.Its your body , take care of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2011
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 12:58am

Also very good advice, thank you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 9:40am

wow

You are doing alot of work on yourself and losing weight and going to the gym and all. that is amazing.. your husband is not being very supportive of you and that is wrong?? You marry a partner who is supposed to love you and cherish you no matter what.

He almost comes across a little bullyish.. Were you bullied in your life and you feel you just married one of those bullies? sorry but that is how your post is coming across to me.

He cant find a job and blames stuff on you. Once again its his problem.

There are many books and doctors who say that a man does not really care what his wife weighs or what she looks like. there was a Dr.Oz episode where the women were overweight and didnt want to have sex.. The husbands wanted sex so bad and they didnt care what the wife looked like. Maybe

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 11:12am

What you are saying would make sense if she was thinner then gained weight after they got married, but she was heavier before, and now she's losing weight, he says he's not attracted cause she's too fat--he should be more attracted now since she weighs less, if that is the real reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 11:15am

Your DH is really not being very nice to you.

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