My issues are ruining our relationship
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My issues are ruining our relationship
| Fri, 09-19-2008 - 10:18pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 and a half years, and lately we've been fighting like crazy. Not little arguments about stupid things, always some big, serious fight that takes days to get past. Most of the time it's because of some problem of mine. I have been extremely stressed and depressed for quite a while now. It's not him - when I'm with him I feel happy - it's everything else: home/family mostly, school, work, money problems/debt. Because of this, sometimes I get extremely angry or emotional and just flip out out of nowhere. He's getting tired of dealing with it, and I have trouble explaining my behavior to him because sometimes I don't even understand it. Most of these problems come from my family. I still live at home and it causes me an immense amount of stress that I don't even know how to deal with. After every fight I promise him I'll change and that I'll calm down, but I can't because I don't even know where to begin. How can I become a different person, how can I change my ways and learn to be more calm? It's not only ruining my relationship, it's killing my self-esteem.

Edited 9/20/2008 2:32 pm ET by goddesslala
Sounds to me as though you need to work with a well trained professional therapist to understand why you are having trouble in so many areas of your life. And, you're right, unless you handle your issues, they will most likely ruin your relationship. No one wants to be with someone who is projecting their difficulties upon them. It's tiring and doesn't leave room for the relationship to grow. Go find yourself a good person and get to work on yourself. Also, tell your boyfriend that you're taking real responsibility for these issues and working with a therapist. He'll be relieved and possibly feel more hopeful about the relationship.
Best wishes,
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Dear Goddess,
I know what you are going thru.
Denise
Loving and devoted wife to Bryan!!!
Welcome to the board goddesslala,
I agree with the advice to seek out a counselor at your school.
....."I just have been very depressed lately which is causing me to be angry and emotional in general, which in turn stresses him out.".....