My jealousy is ruining the relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
My jealousy is ruining the relationship
9
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 8:42am

Hi, i really need some help with my jealousy there have been a couple of times when its nearly caused me and my boyfriend to break up.


First was when i meet his

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 9:50am

Well your jealousy is a problem, sure, but are you sure that it's the MAIN problem here?

"Anyway this yet again caused me to be jealous as he seemed to take her side when i said i didnt want to see them again."

Well from the things she's said to you, I'd say you have every right to not want to see them again. She sounds like a jerk.

I do have a couple of questions for you though:
1) Are his friends around his age too, or does he hang out with people younger?
2) How long have you been dating?
3) What is it about a much older man attracts you?
4) Is this the first guy you've dated who was 10+ years older?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 10:02am

Hi, thanks for the reply to answer your questions most of his friends male/female are around his age usually in there 30s/ 40s. We've been together just over a year now.


To be honest when i first meet him he looks as if he's in his late 20s anyway so i didnt give it much thought until he told me his age but i was just attracted to how easy it was too chat to him and we can have a laugh together.


And last question this is my first serious relationship full stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 1:49pm

Welcome to the board sammie86,


Too bad you can't record the things she's said to you and play them back for your boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 3:27pm

One of the problems isn't jealousy but not wanting to be in the same room with this rude woman who seems jealous and spiteful herself.


You need to either ignore her and be polite when you have to talk. Are there other people that hear her and what do they say?


If your jealousy is out of control then it is time to see a therapist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 11:47am

Hi thanks for the replies i'll definately being looking into getting those books.


Ciao_gina at the time when shes made the comments i've been polite but after have kicked myself for not saying anything back. Not rude but just something to stand up for myself.


The first time we meet and she was funny with me my boyfriend was stood next to me, when i said to him after i was put off by her being too in my face and saying things i thought was to upset me he basically said i was too sensitive and that she didnt mean it to be rude or as i took it. In his eyes she seems to be this lovely woman. The next day he did admit for a first

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 12:07pm

So what are your options now?


You can not go to any events where you know she will be.


You can ignore her.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 12:24pm

::What annoys me is it feels like hes on her side so even if i did say something back i feel like hed tell me i was in the wrong and misunderstand her.


Sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Thu, 01-31-2008 - 11:13pm
Hmmm... interesting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Fri, 02-01-2008 - 10:10am

Hi thanks again for the replies think you've all hit the nail on the head with your comments. I think this one woman has really been the start of my anxiety. until i meet her i wasnt really too bothered about other women i think bcoz he took her side i know think he'll do it with every female friend he has. I'll have to wait and see on that one.


dee_u111 thanks for the input it totally made me think about her comments and they are very jealous sounding i know my bf used to go to her more for support eg hugging and stuff and now he doesnt need to it probably has pushed her nose out of joint and shes not happy not having some sort of hold over him even if shes in a relationship herself.