My kids are too much for him to handle?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
My kids are too much for him to handle?
1
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 2:46pm
Hi. I've been dating a man for 10 months now. We're in love and everything was seemingly moving right along between us. Recently, he expressed how my kids (13 & 7) are taking a toll on him. THey fight a lot and don't get along for the most part. He feels he needs breaks every now and again because he can't handle the constant battles. While I'm trying to be understanding, in all honesty I'm feeling hurt and defensive. I know they can be impossible at times, but I guess I expected him to be more resilient. To make a long story short, I'm feeling it will all go downhill from here. I'm feeling anxious about us and fear a break-up is inevitable. While I'm going to seek some type of counseling for me and my kids (as in family counseling), I'm also considering telling my boyfriend that we should go our separate ways. A part of me wants to do this just to see if he'll fight for me/for us or if he'll just walk away. I don't really want to let him go, but maybe it's the right thing for me to do because I don't want to be selfish either. I saw a look on his face just this morning that told me he is struggling with quite a few emotions. I don't want it to be this way between us. I don't think it is something that is going to go away anytime soon therefore maybe we shouldn't allow it to go from bad to worst. Am I giving up too easily? Am I being rational?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 3:39pm
'A part of me wants to do this just to see if he'll fight for me/for us or if he'll just walk away.'

Why play games? Why not tell him your fears and bring him to family counseling too if he is considering becoming part of your family?