my man and disrespect

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
my man and disrespect
3
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 8:40am
I've been seeing a guy now for 4 months. He once sent me a link from his online message forum, and I continued to look at his other posts. Over the months, he has posted a good amt about his ex-girlfriend...how she is the best in bed ever, gives the best blowjobs, and one night he got drunk till puking because he got jealous of her and her new bf. He said that he still thought about getting back together with her, couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how many other women he was with, etc. The other guys on there told him they felt sorry for me, his current gf. I told him I saw this post, since he was calling me at the same time that night telling me that he needed me. He apologized profusely the next day, telling me he really wanted to be with me, wanted to make up for it, etc. I forgave him. I understand how the ex thing goes...been there myself.

Well, yesterday he looked in my IM message archives on my computer and saw that I had had a small conversation with another guy. Basically, he's been IMing me for over 4 months, and I told him I had a boyfriend, he asked me out for drinks, and I told him that I wouldn't want my bf meeting people, so I would not meet him. He held it in all day that he saw this, and I finally got him to admit to it since he was acting so weird all day. He said he had been through this crap with his ex for over 2 years and didn't want to deal with it again. He has basically zero communication skills. Now I don't know if he's going to break up with me or not.

So, I looked at his message board again this morning, and low and behold, he made another implied comment about his ex. The post was about nympho teachers (his ex is a school psychologist, me a school librarian), and he said that he wasn't allowed to give any details, but that he knows SEVERAL nymphos in the AZ school system, from personal experience, and this was in reply to a guy's post about a teacher that gave him a great blowjob.

What the hell do I do? I can't talk to him...I don't want him to dump me. We really have a great relationship besides these disrespect problems. He travels on his job most of the year, so we don't see each other as much as a normal couple. I feel now like he won't trust me, and I trust him, just hate that he keeps posting about his ex...though he hasn't done it in over a month. Probably did it this time b/c he knew I'd look.

Do you think I should say something? Dump him?

Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 10:22am
your man has passive aggressive issues. he also sounds like he's trying to sabotage your relationship by letting you read crazy stuff on his message board rather than simply telling you he doesn't want to be with you. he sounds like a coward.

it's only been 4 months; dump this guy. he's got too many problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 9:06pm
I agree you need to lose this guy...Come on, 4 months and he's treating you with such obvious disrespect? Imagine if you stay with him, he'll treat you worse as the years go by. I know how hard it can be to break up with someone, but i think it has to be done.

Good Luck :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 9:13pm
'We really have a great relationship besides these disrespect problems'

Disrespect is huge. Dump this guy. He sounds very immature.