My marriage is ending- Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
My marriage is ending- Help
1
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 5:03pm
This is the first time I've posted a message, although I have read quite a few over the past few days. I'm very confused and in deep need of some advice. I just discovered that my husband has been cheating on me. I will start at the beginning and try to make it short. We've been married for 6 years, have 2 children. Any one who knows us would describe us as the perfect family. I trusted him completely, sure we had our share of problems, but none very serious. Actually, I thought this past year, we were at the best point of our marriage that we ever were. And yes, sex was incredibly great. Last month, we took a trip to the Bahamas that he surprised me with.

He had to go on a business trip a couple of weeks ago, something told me to check his personal bag to see if he took out the condoms that we use (he usually stores them in that bag). Well, I found that he took most of the condoms out but left a few. I was shocked, why would he leave some condoms in his bag when he's going on the business trip alone. So,I counted them and didn't say anthing to him. He came back the second day (it was an overnight trip), and I counted the condoms that same night, well, they were missing one. I was devastated. I confronted him, but he denied even knowing about the condoms, and said he probably didn't get all of them out by accident. I begged him to tell me for 3 days, but kept denying it.



A few days later, some woman shows up at our door while we were both home, it was the woman he slept with who tracked him down.

I found out that he spent the night with her and they had planned a romantic trip to some resort and spent the day and night together. I found out that he met her on the internet, he had an account with one of those internet dating sites for 4 years and had been chatting with women all this time. He started talking and emailing her since May, and that was the first time they'd actually met. I read all the emails, and listened to all the messages he left on her phone. I'm devastated. He'd been crying and begging for forgiveness ever since. I don't want to tell my family or friends about this, it's kind of weird, but I care about his reputation because he's the father of my children. How can I forgive him? How can I trust him again? he fooled and hurt be beyond any words could ever describe. I've been thinking alot about divorce, he told me if I leave him he will kill himself. Please help, where do I begin?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 3:55pm
Try posting on the Betrayed Spouse Support board. They have been through what you are going through.


Carrie