My relationship with my b/f.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
My relationship with my b/f.
14
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 11:20am

My b/f and I been together for a year and 3 months. I love him so much, but am wondering if he loves me alot too or if his love for me isn't as great. We go out to the movies, we go to the malls to walk around together, we buy each other lunch and dinners, we sleep together and ect, ect. He always disregards my opinions though. He never agrees with me on things. He makes it look like I'm in the wrong sometimes especially when were around other people. I don't know if he does it to be kool or what but ya. For example if me and him are hanging out with another friend and were trying to come to an agreement on something, he'll agree with the other person always and leave me out. Even when were watching tv. He'll agree with the other person on tv all the time. Alot of times he sticks up for people on tv who he doesn't even know. Whats up with that? The love is there that he shows me because I can tell because he said he wants to get a place with me, get married and have kids. But sometimes he says things to me that is weird and confuses me. I don't know if he knows what he's saying or what because sometimes when I ask him about it, he'll be like, I said that? Or say I don't remember saying that. The love is there for the most part, but parcially sometimes it isn't. I wonder if he'd be happier with another race than me because he's only dated white girls in the past. We're both black by the way. I'm not sure if his love for me is as great as mine. I also feel like if I needed him to be there for me if something got me mad or upset, he wouldn't be there. He wouldn't care. I don't know if this is true, but I feel it. Is there anyway I can find out? I'm thinking of lying and making up a story by telling him I had a bad dream about being raped. Just to see his reaction. I'll

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 12:06pm

If it was about race, it wouldnt take him 1 year and 3 months to decide.

But other things about him are not favourable especially putting you down.that is pure disrespect towards you.in front of other people if he puts you down, he is trying to show that he is more clever than you are which may not be the case.But, in the cases when he puts you wrong, are you really wrong or right? Its also about controlling and ego.

I would take this as an insult to me, in private or in front of friends or tv .

If you cant rely on your boyfriend when you need him, he doesnt deserve to be your bf.Foundation of being a bf and gf is friendship.What do friends do? help in need and not ' not available' in crisis.
Telling him your dream wont be an exaggeration.How to find if he cares, some other wise people here will help you with that :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 1:22pm

"I'm not sure if his love for me is as great as mine. I also feel like if I needed him to be there for me if something got me mad or upset, he wouldn't be there. He wouldn't care. I don't know if this is true, but I feel it. Is there anyway I can find out? I'm thinking of lying and making up a story by telling him I had a bad dream about being raped. Just to see his reaction. I'll

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 2:43pm
replied to the wrong person, sorry



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 2:45pm

Welcome to the board babydiva2007,


I would not make up a dream and put that kind of negative energy out there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 2:47pm

I will answer this for you. What ' magentablue' means is that your bf is verbally abusing you. not that you are abusive. he is doing wrong to you by putting you down again and again.He has some insecurities about himself but is throwing them on you by his behavior.People like this can become physically abusive as well , meaning that when you wont agree to his voice , he might even hit you.
like it or not but thats the kind of this man seems like.He is not at all caring rather manipulative and controlling.

dump him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 3:27pm

Welcome babydiva2007,


I don't think making up a dream about being raped and then telling him about it would be a good indicator of how he feels about you. If I told my dh that I had a dream about being raped, he would probably say something to the effect

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 4:00pm
You are calling YOURSELF Babydiva--that's why Magentablue asked her question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 6:13pm
There is a basic rule to follow in life. Never ask a question that you truly don't want the answer to. Don't post a question on the boards if you don't really want to know what people think. If you go back and reread what I wrote, you will see that I am pointing out that you should be watching out for you, not attacking you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 2:49am

Babydiva, she WASN'T trying to make you feel bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 3:15am

I've got some different ideas to the other posters.


You mentioned that he makes you look like you're in the wrong.

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