My story for being here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2014
My story for being here
5
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 12:46am

AIt began in June 2013, what the exact day will remain a mystery to me. He tells me the 23rd, but its unknown if he is being truthful. Long long story, but here it goes.

This woman invited herself i to my SO hotel room, u dressed and got i to bed with him. They had sex and agreed that it would be just that, sex and no relationship. The OW was married and had a job working for a domestic abuse shelter (this hotel worked with her clients and she had access to room keys for those women & children) , the affair continued while I was outta state, at first only being random sex after his & work hours. But during the day, her job allowed them to cross paths routinely, they had lunch dates with other co-workers and of course text messages, which my SO claimed she sent daily. My SO tells that he used her for meals & sex, she always paid and did pretty much anything to stay close to him. Then she began getting serious over him and wanted more, he ended the affair; but she crept off for a short time then resurfaced with texts and showing up at his hotel unannounced with gifts & invites to movies; a few days after he told her he couldn't continue because he has a family. She always said nothing to his statement and would do the same thing, and he being a dumb-ass would after a few days go along with her, get some sex & food and time away from the hotel and be right back to daily texts, as thou they were dating. Now both have jobs that would frown on this behavior and they both kept it secret, even her best friend and co-worker did t see the budding romance; as she married was making plays for my SO. This behavior continued until a co-worker of my SO, got into trouble by his wife. The guy announced he was leaving his wife & family of 6 for this woman, my SO questioned her about it, which she denied adamantly. He broke things off and yet again she crept away quiet and resurfaced a week later, at this point she began spouting "i love you" and sending provocative pictures of herself (from her work phone!) to his work & personal cell. He would cause figts with her about the accusations and would tell her he didnt see them go anywhere, that he still wanted me. She would never argue, he says she just acted like she knew and would always agree that she didnt either. But the OW was still living with her husband and still had many meetings (not work just personal) with some of his co-worker and these men spent time alone with her (she always claimed she was friends and they just went to her for help), he in the mean time continued with phone calls & i love you texts and statements to me. He at one point, when i asked him directly on the phone in july, said there was a woman that kept trying to date him and knew about me & the kids; but states she didnt care. He actully gave me her cell number and I called her to let her know I was aware of her ploys to "get with my man", she denied any type of relationship and even said she was well aware he was with me & loved.
Well after the phone call this OW became pregnant and was having a son (thou he conception date would have been prior to my SO), and her story about how far along was not correct and changed time to time as needed. But, my SO went right along hook line & sinker, well this OW finally felt she needed to come clean about this hurtful affair. She called me at 2am, while she was extremely drunk and left a short & to the point message about "call me, I know you got my messages!" & several text messages about "he was suppose to tell you, but it seems he can't so I will. She went on to tell me he was "staying with her", "they were having a child" & "she didnt want this to happen, but he loves her. Well I talked to him during this time (still far away physically) and he denied most of it, he continued to work things out with me... He Asked me to fix it for him; he wanted me to make her stay away, because she wouldnt listen to him. even after she asked me about him & I, she knew he was still trying to work it out with me, she pulled every card in the book. she had three young children 4,5 & 6, but even they were used to try to gain him back. She text & called me with questions about "is he still trying with you?" And then she would say "you need to answer me! Be a woman and be upfront with me i deserve to know" after she lied, cheated, schemed and laid on her back she wanted me to woman up! It was funny to see.
Well 5 days later... She died. After this it was announced that she not pregnant (she stated she was 13 weeks or more because she knew it was a boy) and her story of my SO living with her was a lie, she had been sleeping with 4 other co-workers of his during her relationship with him, she did not file for a divorce like she claimed (her husband filed on her) and she swore she had money from a rental property business, but her husband was the owner. The list of lies went on, as for the other details of thier affair, I wrote up the majors and left some of the behaviors & actions out...
For some reason this won't allow me to post, so I'm adding this little blah at the end?

~NightStar78~


Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 2:16am

  She was dying and knew it.  So she put all of living into what time she had left.  Not unusual for people who are dying.

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2014
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 2:22am

Im sorry, I should have been more specific in that part. She died unexpectdely, her death was not natural causes or anything she knew would happen (it was an accdient sort speak)

~NightStar78~


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 1:51pm

So do you ahve a question here?  I can't imagine why you would stay with a guy like this who carred on a long affair with this woman.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 3:11pm

  That fact is important.  However,she is gone now.  The current reality is what to do with your current relationship.  It will take time for everything to settle down.  Quick action may not be in anyone's best interest.  

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 11:24pm

You're not asking what to do, so why ARE you here?  This man, your SO, you're not married to him, and he must be as dumb as a rock if even half of his story is true........or he thinks YOU are as dumb as a rock for believing it.  You're not married to him......so why would you stay with him?  Your SO was staying in a hotel that was also a "Women's shelter"?  And this woman had keys to all the rooms in the hotel, so she just randomly picked your SO to offer her charms?  PLEASE!  IF that was true, which it's not, all he had to do was call hotel security and report a crazy woman in his room.  But then what the heck........she's giving him sex AND paying for his food!  Then it turns out that she's giving the sex to a few other guys, too.  What a great bunch of co-workers.....they shared her!  This guy is lower than low......using this woman for sex, AND for meals.....and probably came home and had sex with you.  You need to get yourself tested for STD's ASAP!  She claimed to be pregnant.......she was a real winner.  And your SO who expects you to believe all this BS is another winner.  I think you can do better!