My Wife Is Falling Apart

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
My Wife Is Falling Apart
10
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 12:03am

Just posted on here a couple of weeks ago and back for more grounding.


About a week and a half ago I posted about how my wife (who is depressed and frusterated with our current apartment and her new roll as a stay-at-home mom for our 13 month old son).


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlrelationsh&msg=30508.1&ctx=512


Today I called my wife at lunch like I always do from work to say hi.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 4:24am

Sorry to hear you're going through this, but feel much more sorry that there's a little baby involved.


Is there, by any chance, alcohol or drugs involved in any way, when you have these fights?


She is frustrated because she is taking on a new role in her life, and she seems to be adjusting to it terribly.


What reasons do you think there are for her feeling this way?


I think that the best thing you can do is to be positive for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 10:46am

kalielu...that you for the feedback. Yes its a very difficult situation because of my son. I don't want him to see that its ok to be crabby and take it out on other people, let alone the rage, throwing stuff and hitting.


I actually did something like you suggested this weekend. It was 100% her weekend and it was a shopping weekend. I woke up and took care of our son and let her sleep in and relax. We ended up clothes and shoe shopping for over 10hrs Saturday and Sunday. I was happy and took care of our son the whole time (didn't complain once about the hell that is shoe shopping at Nordstroms).


She was depressed because all she had was 'fat' clothes from right after giving birth...so I told her 'you deserve to splurge, you've worked very hard and I want you to be happy'. She was sooo happy over the weekend she promised me sex in exchage for being such a 'trooper' (all in good fun, I don't take sex promises seriously).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 12:54pm
To me it seems clear that you wife needs some time in individual counseling. She might even be suffering from post pardom depression. I think after she has spent some time in individual counseling than you should start marriage counseling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:11am
Im telling you...that sounds a lot like PPD.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:14am

A Day of shopping and fun is not going to resolve the issues.


It sounds like she is suffering from a great deal of PPD.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 11:01am

I agree with the posters who suggested she see a doctor - she probably IS suffering from PPD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 1:41am
OK, so she is unwilling to enter marital/couples counseling at this time...but, like the other posters suggested, what about individual therapy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 6:47am

"Then she ended up throwing a bunch of stuff at me, 'crazy' screaming at the top of her lungs, then ran up and punched me a couple of times in the arm."


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 11:05am

"Or do you just like the sympathy". Americanjin....I guess if I must be

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 6:00pm

"so my son will NEVER hear of when police came....because that would be terrific