Is my wife hopelessly insensitive?
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Is my wife hopelessly insensitive?
| Tue, 03-30-2004 - 4:09pm |
My wife's recreational hobby is volleyball. She now plays twice per week and meets with her team for social outings once or twice per month. She goes to volleyball with an unmarried man 10 years younger than her. I am not only not invited, I am excluded from all gatherings. When I asked to substitute on one of her teams she said, "We've had teams for years, so you'll have to be on the bottom of the list." When I said I'd like to join her new team, she said,"Get your own team.". I then stated that I knew her "boyfriend" would always be on all of those teams, she just said that they always play together, that nothing ever happens and that it is too bad. I then stated that she has made a point of never having her "best friend" ever observe us in a social situation where we were husband and wife she answered-and this is really incredible-"Oh, I see this is some male marking issue. You want to piss on me to show that you own me!"
My question is: Is my wife perhaps the biggest A-hole to walk the face of the earth?
My question is: Is my wife perhaps the biggest A-hole to walk the face of the earth?

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Carrie
It comes down to accountability not the level or types of activities. Is your wife accountable to your relationship? Is there just as much an investment on both your parts to quality time in your relationship? I have no issue with her playing volleyball or some social activities at all as long as its kep in a reasonable balance with the quality time in the relationship.
I would recommend you do 2 things:
1 - Invite your wife on planned dates, just like the old days. Continue to show your interest rather than just expecting interest.
2 - When she goes out alone, you go out too. Go play some pool or hang out for awhile at a Sports Bar and watch a game. Do something just for you that you enjoy.
Every relationship needs some "apart" time. Use it wisely so that you can be the best person you can.
P.S. Thanks for the comments.
Perhaps she has some resentments festering - could you hazard a guess at what they might be? When did things begin to change? Has she always been cold and insensitive or did something happen?
Coolas
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