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| Wed, 03-14-2007 - 6:52pm |
I will try to keep this as short and sweet as I can. Me and my boyfriend broke up in November after dating for 4 years. What led to the breakup was that we were not communicating and spending time together like we should and we realize our mistakes and believe we did not handle the situation correctly. I still love him and he still loves me but in the time that we have been apart he has started a new relationship. He states that he thought I wanted nothing to do with him, which I did not talk to him for a month or so after the break. We have been talking for the past couple of months and he is not happy in the situation he is in, but there are kids involved (two for her and two for him) and he does not want to hurt anyones feelings by ending the relationship quickly. He is the type of guy that worries about hurting other peoples feelings and I understand that, but would you drag out a relationship that you know is not for you just for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings? He claims he rushed into something he was not ready for and feels bad about leaving the situation abrubtly so it almost feels like he is waiting for her to do something so it won't look so bad on him. Well this past Saturday night they went out and she picked up another guy's number while he had to make a quick trip to the car. Ok, so you would think he would be like game over, but I am not sure if he has done so. We decided Sunday not talk for a little while so we can clear our heads, which I thought was a good idea at the time, but it is driving me crazy not knowing what's going on. I know it would not be a situation where he would dump her then come running back to me, it would be a slow and gradual process. But we discussed this whole working things out between us about a month ago and my patience is wearing thin. I knew it was not going to happen overnight, but I am beginning to wonder sometimes "what am I doing". I typically would not put myself in this situation but I know and he knows that we belong together, so why is it so hard to do that? When I start to tell him to just forget about it he begs me to just hang on. I would appreciate any advice on this.

If he KNEW you belonged together you would be together. You're waiting around while he continues to sleep with this girl - I hope you're not sleeping with him. As long as he was with another woman you should have never engaged in conversations about the two of you getting back together.
He'll give you all the dumb ass excuses and cry baby crap that you'll allow him but he has no respect for you or the woman he is currently with and no self-respect for that matter if he can't step up and end a relationship that he says he doesn't want.
Tell him you're done waiting around for him while he messes around with another woman and mean it - let him cry about it - he deserves to - let him beg but don't give in. What are you getting out of this? How does this serve what is best for your heart and peace of mind?