NEED ADVICE ASAP!!!!!!!
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| Sat, 07-24-2004 - 9:48pm |
Here is my situation:
I am 22 years old and I am currently living with my boyfriend. We have been dating for a year and have been living together for about 3 months now. I knew going into the relationship that my boyfriend had a three year old daughter and although it did and still is taking sometime getting used to I was ok with it. He has her every other weekend and even when we didnt live together we would all spend time together the weekends he had her. But, I have begun to notice that just spending time with the two of them and living with them and having her here the whole weekend is completely different. The first two weekends he had her it wasnt so bad. But since then, its grown continuously worse. I get jealous and frustrated. I feel like he doesnt give me enough attention when she is here (which I know sounds selfish) and I end up getting upset over nothing. It's not just about giving me attention, there is other things about the situation that bother me. Like the fact that I always buy the groceries (I dont have a great deal of money either) and I do buy stuff for his daughter so she has stuff the weekends she is here. Then when she is here she eats EVERYTHING. And I get frustrated because even though I did buy stuff she she would have it, i dont feel like I should have to because its not my responsibility and what gets me the most is that my boyfriend never offers to help out or share the expense with me. The second thing that bothers me is that he lets her do whatever she pleases. He lets her climb all over our furniture and throw balls all over the place breaking things. And I see that as a lack of respect. I dont want to be the one to discipline her because it is already hard being the "other person" but I dont know what else to do....How can I stop feeling this way? Is there a book out there for women who date men that already have children. I love my boyfriend so much but I can see this getting continously worse in the future as his daughter grows!!!

You can stop feeling this way by meeting someone else that doesn't have children. Your much to young to be in this relationship. My guess is that he's mid 30's and divorced for a reason, some of which your seeing now! I think it's common for the girlfriend to feel neglected when the b/f has kids. Could you handle it if his daughter was with you full time ? If not I think you should seriously reconsider your relationship with him.
I also think you moved in too soon!
Remember, this is just the opinion of a total stranger that doesn't know you or him ;-)
Brent
My boyfriend is 24 years old and he has never been married. And I know that maybe I should be with someone else and maybe I won't be able to handle this situation but I love him so much. I truly think that love can overcome so many things and I just need to learn ways I can accept and get used to the situation.
well, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I had just moved to Chicago and shortly after, had met him by accident, on an local online dating site. About a month ago we decided to move in together. ..... At the bottom of the drawer there were naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend. After that, I also found a stash of porn tapes. Although I didnt like the fact that he watched porn I let that slide, but it upset me that he had naked pictures of some girl he had dated. .....
He doesnt understand why I dont trust him, but ive caught him in so many lies.
..... I found an e-mail from some girl saying that she can't wait to meet him and giving all her information. I then looked at his computer and found files that were pictures of girls that had been deleted, over 300 porn videos he had downloaded,....I also found him to have several profiles on dating websites. ...... I have a feeling he is meeting girls on the internet and talking to them but I have no way to prove it.