Need advice, boyfriend said wrong name

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Need advice, boyfriend said wrong name
5
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:37pm
Hi everyone!

Sorry to bother you all but I really need some help with this. I am not sure what to do, how to feel or even if what I am feeling is legit.

This morning, my boyfriend of 11 months and I were having sex. I was going down on him when he said "Oh my gosh Amy." The problem there is my name is not Amy. I got upset and stopped. Explained to him what he said and he told me that he did not say that and if he did he did not mean to say that. He doesn't even know an Amy. But...he does there was this classmate of his named Amy but when I reminded him of her he said, "her name is Jamie I thought?"

Needless to say part of me believes he really did not mean to say that. That he was not thinking of Amy. But the other part of me is actually hurt by the comment. Sex after that was shot, he continued to appologize as I was getting ready for work. Telling me that I know he loves me and ONLY me.

I just really wanted someone to talk to about this annonymously. I mean I am a bit embarrassed by it so I do not want to bring it up to any of my friends. I am not sure wether I should let it go or be upset. More or less I would just like to hear some advice from some people...just something.

I am also questioning to if he said "baby" and not "Amy". Our nicknames for each other are baby. So he could have said "Oh my gosh baby" But for some reason I do not think I heard wrong. Maybe he meant to say baby but it came out Amy?? I don't know. And now I feel like I am making excuses and I am just so confused.

Please help!

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 10:07pm
It is possible that it was not what you heard. With just that there is really nothing you can do unless you suspect there is someone else for different reasons. Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 11:55pm
NYluvr2

I can totally understand how you must have felt..

My situation was that I was dating my current boyfriend for only 5 mos, we were looking at townhouses for him (he was already separated and going thru a divorce). We met with the relator and he introduced me to him as his girlfriend Lisa, well - my name is Kim.

I know your relationship is going on a year, but keep in mind at times our minds loose track of time and simply out of no where- we all say things unexpectedly...

For instance,,, my ex's name was Dave,,, he passed away several years ago before I met my current boyfriend.. While we were making love, I called Ed - Dave... He didn't say anything at first, but then mentioned it later... I was really upset and couldn't figure out for the life of me where his name came from.

So just trust, that whatever "Word" was said, it doesn't matter just so long as you know how he made you feel.

Take care...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 9:40am
I definitely understand where you're coming from. I'm sure you didn't hear wrong, I'm sure he did say "Amy." I wonder why he didn't just own up to it and say "I'm so sorry I said that, I don't know why I did." But unless your gut feeling is telling you there is something wrong (like he is thinking about an "Amy" you don't know about), I wouldn't worry about it. It's too bad it happened during a moment like that, but, as the last poster said, sometimes our minds are just bizarre. Has he gone out with an Amy in the past? My boyfriend has not called me the wrong name, but a couple times he's hesitated and I know he can't remember my name! (after nine months!)

Anyway, unless this is indicative of a gut feeling you have that something deeper is wrong, I'd chalk it up to your boyfriend's mind being all goofy at that moment.

Good luck!

toriphile322

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 9:55am
That name calling could be perfectly harmless. I know alot of times when I am having sex, I'll slip into a sexual fantasy. IT's probably nothing against you at all! I know I have called plenty of guys other names before. Didn't mean I was really thinking of anyone else. Everyone has slip ups sometimes. The best thing to do, is stick with you heart. But talk with him first. Sit him down and explain how you fell. Don't jump to any conclusions without knowing first hand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 6:01pm
in your post you didn't mention if he offered what he thought he said - "baby" or another name or your name. I don't know if making an issue would be a good idea now, you could give benefit of the doubt. If it happens again, maybe adress the issue.