NEED ADVICE FAST-Final talk w Ex tonite
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| Thu, 06-10-2004 - 12:29pm |
My girlfriend and I "broke up" in February. We stayed together basically as if nothing had changed. I took this as a sign that maybe we could work things out. But a month ago, suddenly, she started really pulling away. Now, we talk maybe twice a week and I've only seen her once in 3 weeks. Obviously something has changed again.
I still love her, but realize that I have to let go. She doesn't feel the same way anymore. After work today, I'm talking to her to finalize everything... ask the questions that have been bothering me and vent some of my sadness and frustrations before a period of No Contact.
Here's my dilemma:
Of course I'd love to be back with her. But I know I need a period of NC FIRST to heal and to see if she misses me. What, if any, are some basic guidelines as to what to say and what NOT to say? I know... no begging and whatnot. I'm not going there. We're just saying goodbye for now. I'm meeting her after work today and I'm using this time to prepare myself mentally for what I know is going to be a painful and emotional experience. Any advice on what to say or how to phrase things is greatly appreciated!!

Of course, I was very young and inexperienced then. I'm sure the rules of break-up change, but certain dynamics stay the same. You don't want to be hostile towards this girl, but you probably don't want to let her know it bothers you too much, either. Since she doesn't seem to be breaking-up with you for any good reason, my guess is that once she starts wondering why you're not devastated by the break-up, she'll wonder what's wrong with her. Then she'll test the waters to see if you want her back. If you don't jump at it, she'll probably start doing more and more to try to bring you around. Have you been easily attainable for her up to this point? A lot of women, unfortunately, like someone who seems unattainable. I suspect she'll start wondering if the break-up makes her look bad if it doesn't seem to bother you and start hanging-out with other women. Good luck to you!