Need Advice Before I Lose My 4 Month-Old Daughter and Her Mom! PLEASE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Need Advice Before I Lose My 4 Month-Old Daughter and Her Mom! PLEASE!
10
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 11:20am

Katie and I have been together for approx. 2 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I'm so sorry, lance.

There is nothing you can do to win her feelings back. She hasn't had feelings for you for quite some time, and she's been blaming you for it. This has nothing to do with how much effort you put in for her. You are willing to do anything it takes to make them both happy, but you could bring Katie the moon and she would still not be happy. It is not possible for you to please her. She will ALWAYS have a reason to be upset with you and you will end up catering to her for absolutely nothing.

I'm sorry about how this is working out but it is very clear that Katie is just not interested in you anymore. Why does that mean you are losing your daughter? It's your daugther, you have a right as a father to be a part of her life even if you are not in a relationship with Katie. Your friends are right. There is nothing more you can do.

This relationship probably should have ended long ago but you have been together for the sake of your daughter. Katie is pushing you away and trying to justify it by convincing herself that it's your fault. She is doing this to spare herself the guilt that comes with taking responsibility for her change in feelings.This relationship is over. I'm so so sorry about everything...

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to change another person's feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007

Wow, I had hoped that me moving out and creating the opportunity for us to have time "together" away from the chaos of the full house would have helped, especially if post partum is involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

Yes, and maybe it's worth a shot if she is willing to try it, but since you have had a rocky relationship even before your child I am hesitant to say that post partum depression is causing her to push you away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008

Hi Lance,

I'm sorry that you're struggling with this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

You mention a conflict in communication.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You cannot force someone to have feelings for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
May I ask how you "made" her feelings for you disappear? How did you do that according to her?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007

Of course.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You didn't MAKE her do anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007

Thank you for the reply.