need advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
need advice please
2
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 5:14pm
I am not in a committed relationship, but rather I am in a casual sex relationship or a "friends with benefits" relationship. My partner has made it clear to me that he is not interested in a long-term relationship with me and just wants to be friends that have sex. I, on the other hand, like him and want this to turn into a romantic relationship. Is it likely that he could fall in love with me? Has anyone heard of casual sex relationships turning into committed relationships down the line?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 5:54pm
Well I am not an expert, but I have gone through this before. And there is no certain answer on whether or not it will turn into something more. You are definitely taking a risk by going along with this, while knowing how you feel more than he does or says. By continuing to hang out and have sex with him you are going to like/love him more and more. And if he begins to fall too, it would be great. The fact that he is stating that he doesn't want anything serious probably means that he really doesn't. So you have to realize that it is quite possible that he will just have fun as friends with benefits, and never want to progress to anything else. And after time being in this relationship, you will just be increasing the possible hurt you will go through when you realize he doesn't want anything more. But it can always be fun, and you can just still keep your eyes open for someone else.

So you really have to ask yourself if you are willing to take that risk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 1:02pm
Why are you settling for this kind of relationship when you clearly want more?

Why don't you believe him when he tells you what he wants and doesn't want?

Believe him, he's got the kind of relationship he wants and it's working for him. Loving him more, giving him more sex, will NOT make him fall in love with you and make him want what you want. So many women make this mistake, they think they can change the guy or pursuade the guy, if they just love him enough, give him enough, have enough sex with him, etc.

Save yourself some heartache and let this relationship go. Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie