need advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
need advice please
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 3:17pm


I am 22 and have been with my boyfriend since freshmen year of college (almost 4 years). We have been through alot, and we have really grown together and made a lot of progress. Lately, I've been feeling like I need some space, so we are taking a short break from eachother. I'm at a point where i don't really have a reason, but I feel unsure of my feelings for him. I feel like this for a few reasons:

1. We are kind of on different levels. I feel more responsible and ambitious then he is, and I am worried that he won't rise to my level and make priorities in life (although he has been saying he is ready to grow up for quite some time now - there has been some progress with this)

2. This is my longest relationship, and it is hard to deal with losing the initial excitement . I feel like I want more excitement and something new. I find myself craving a sex and the city lifestyle (although I think unrealistic views from the media of a perfect life and relationship are somewhat to blame for this)

3. I am worried to settle when I'm so young - What if there is someone better out there, what if there isn't

I feel like I might be uncomfortable with such intimacy, since this is my longest relationship ever. I feel bored a little, and doubting. I feel like I am never satisfied and always want more. But I am unsure if I should leave him or if this is my problem that I need to work out, and that I will have this problem with anyone else I date until I work it out. He really loves me and wants to stay with me. He is so sweet and affectionate, and a good guy. I am so confused. I don't want to lose a good guy that I love, but lately, its hard for me to feel love for him because I feel so clouded with my thoughts on things. I can't seem to figure out which feelings I should follow. Any advice? - confused and unclear