Need Advice - Want to get bf back!!
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Need Advice - Want to get bf back!!
| Sun, 08-22-2004 - 12:57pm |
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me a month ago, about a month after he moved to the East Coast (I'm on the west coast). We've lived together for about a year and a half and had a great relationship. He would always tell me how much he loves me every single day. We hadn't had sex in awhile which bothered me but he said he had gained so much weight he felt uncomfortable and asked me to be patient so I was. Anyway, when he moved, the plan was for me to move out there in a few months as long as he liked it there, if not, he would move back. He's always had some depression in his life and it got worse when he moved. He went to see a therapist for it and she convinced him that although he loves me very much, he's not in love with me which is why we stopped having sex. This man has never made me feel more loved and I just don't feel like that is a good enough excuse to break up over. He could never go a day without calling me to tell me he loves me and now it's over, just like that. I'm going to be on the east coast in 2 weeks to see my family and we might get together. I feel like it is my one and only chance to get him back. This one month break up has made me see more than ever, that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and I want to tell him that in person.
I've thought about flying there for the weekend just to talk to him but I didn't want to look like a crazy psycho person for doing it. I really feel that when he sees me he'll feel differently. Is it possible for someone to just shut off all of their feelings like that overnight? Has anyone gone through something like this before? Is there hope of getting back together? Any advice would be appreciated!

If not being in love with someone isn't a good excuse to break up, then I don't know what is.
'Is it possible for someone to just shut off all of their feelings like that overnight?'
He probably didn't shut them off over night but they were accumulating when he was still living near you. He didn't quite understand what was going on, he was also depressed and gaining weight. If the therapist was good and accurate she didn't 'convince' him that he wasn't in love with you, she only helped him to get in touch with his feelings and he realized it on his own.
You can do the romantic-Hollywood-show up at his doorstep-style attempt to get him back if you are thinking 'what have I got to lose' but do you really think it will change his mind?