Need advice on what to do about bf
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Need advice on what to do about bf
| Sun, 08-22-2004 - 7:47pm |
This might be a lil long so let me get started. My bf and I have been dating for about a yr now. Things were going great at first and then things just started to change. After my bf and I had sex he slowly started talking about sex more and more and laying more pressure on me about it. Like anytime we go out now, at the end of the date he wants to mess around and this is EVERY time. But like I can't just do oral on him bc if I do then he wants sex, and then he doesnt just want sex he wants unprotected sex (I refuse to do that) But its like there is so much pressure if I say no I dont feel like messing around he will sit there and bother me forever. Also when we talk on the phone the convo ends up being 90% about sex. 80% I end up sitting on the othere end trying not to get pissed. Between all the talking, pressure, and never being happy with what he is getting, it has turned me off to sex all together with him. I have talked to him about it and he says he will stop and he does for a few days but then it is back to this. He is a good guy aside from this and I do love him, but all this bs is making me angry and unhappy and I dont know what else to do about it. It also upsets me because like most ppl I enjoy sex a lot, but I am not obsessed with it as he. One more thing I should mention, is that I new befor we got together he watched porn and that doesnt bother me at all but the fact that he watches it every chance he gets does! He will be playing a video game and while it is loading he will switch to porn. I mean every chances he gets and its not like he pleases himself everytime. He just has to be watching it. My thing is is what do I do? Or is there nothing I can do? I know you cant change ppl. So what are my options?

You wanted to know what options you have, and it's good that you know that you can't change him. I think that you have to really come to accept the fact that you are sexually incompatible. He may be a great guy in other ways, but already you're turned off to sex and that's not being fair to yourself. You deserve to enjoy sex in a loving relationship, and when you are with someone who really doesn't care how you feel as long as he's getting his excessive needs met, you are missing out on one of the great joys in life. In good relationships, partners sometimes have sex when they don't feel like it because they want to make each other happy. But they do it because they love each other, and not because they'be been worn down and badgered into it. Someone who has your best interests at heart won't pressure you constantly. Most women are not in heat 24/7 and need time to build sexual tension. If he knows that and still makes constant demands on you, he probably has a compulsive nature and try as he might for a few days he'll soon be back to the same old thing. If you can't cope with it, then you know what the only option is.
Let's see..."what ARE your options?"
A meatcleever...maybe?
There's no profile on you, but don't you think it's a drag when the ONLY THING the man you're dating has on HIS MIND...is S-E-X? There has got to be a few other terrific qualities about you (besides your body!). Does he ever compliment you? Or is all his verbiage connected with "getting down and doing the nasty!"
Anyway...ask yourself a couple questions:
If you started to refuse him...would he dump you? And ask yourself (honestly)----is he REALLY worth YOUR time?
Pianoguy