Need all the advise i can get plz!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Need all the advise i can get plz!!
3
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 8:09pm
My boyfriend and i recently broke up for various reasons, we had been seeing eachother for 2 years... but we both got really hurt in the process...now we are somewhat trying to move on but im totally kidding myself im still im love with him...he has a rebound girl who i hate and have for the longest time...shes a slut and sleeps with anything sleepable although he denies being with her yet. My point is we have talked and he said he wants to be with me to but now he denies it hes just afraid of getting hurt again..how can i show him how serious i am.. some ppl have told me to act like i dont care and make him want me as much as i want him and other say to keep trying...im so confused but i dont want to give up because deep down we are perfect for eachother PLZ help
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 8:33pm
This is just my opinion. For one I don't know how old you are therefore I don't know how serious you should be with a guy. That is something that is important to know in this situation. If your in high school or in early college I would say that maybe both of you should date around just so you know what you want in a relationship. If you guys are meant to be he'll come back and maybe that's what he's thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 9:24am

I would suggest telling him the truth.... Im not sure what your age is, but take things one day at a time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 12:23pm
You may know you are perfect for each other, but he doesn't know it, or doesn't want to know it, and he's with someone else.

Something very weird to think about. You can't have what you WANT by the very definition of the word want.

He knows how you feel, but he's either not wanting to change what he's doing right now, or he's too afraid. You can't change either of those things. You can't love him enough to get him to pick you. You can't work through his issues for him. He has to want to address them.

If you are pursuing him, he has no time to MISS YOU. Let him miss you. Take two weeks of NO CONTACT. Don't call him, don't email him, don't try to see him. He has to know what he wants. In order for it to work, you both have to be on the same page, right now you aren't.

If you have to try one more time, say this "I think we could have worked on our issues in couple's counseling. So while I disagree with your decision, I will honor it."

Then make a list of things you enjoy and start doing them.


Carrie