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need help!
| Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:31pm |
this is probably going to sound incredibly bizarre, and perhaps a bit childish, but I really need some help here. I live with my boyfriend of just over a year, and we have a great relationship. He is kind, supportive, loving, and we're best friends on top of everything else. What's the problem then? Well, when we first started seeing each other, he'd made a comment to me about how he'd "already been with the girl of his dreams", referring to his ex-girlfriend from years ago. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when we moved in together, I had accidentally kicked over a box containing her old pictures, letters, etc.... and it got me thinking about what he said back then. Now and again, I find myself wondering if she's the girl of his dreams, where does that leave me, and what would happen if she decided she wanted him back one day...and I get nauseated. I know it's childish and I've never had a jealousy streak before. I think it honestly has to do with that "innocent" comment from over a year ago. I feel like an idiot. I have a wonderful relationship, and we're both in this for the long haul. Any thoughts?

Ouch....
Im pretty sure that even if he thought he meant it then, he doesnt now.Otherwise, it'd be her living with him and not you...With that said, there is also a reason their exes..
I do know how it feels to find reminders like that. I dont think it would be fair to ask him to burn or destroy things necissarily, simpoly because I think everyone is entitled to memories, no matter how they keep them. However, if this a problem,. you deserve for the problem to be taken care of (in a mture, adult fashion). Maybe, both of you guys move them to the farthest corner of the attic where hopefully you'll never see them for a very long time...maybe he'll offer to burn the crap and you guys can incinerate it all together...for all you know, it may not even be that important to him anymore.
Point is though, you need to let him know how that hurt you, he doesnt read minds and if you dont let him know(perferably with out starting the next world war), it will eat at you..
Good luck and best wishes,
I can certainly understand how you feel, we all get at least slightly jealous at times about this sort of thing, and hearing a line like that would probably bug me as well.
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
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