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| Sat, 12-29-2007 - 2:22am |
I have been married for three years and have a 6 year old daughter with another man. I carried on a 2 year relationship with another man plus cheated on both men several times, my husband forgave me with all his heart. Then after a few months, I start again, this time with several other men and a couple of women. One of the people who I still have sex with is my baby’s daddy. My baby’s daddy still doesn’t know I’m married. On top of everything, I emotional and mentally torture him about everything, from financial to personal issues. What should I do??? I love my husband with all my heart but it seems my problems out weigh everything. My husband says he is willing to forgive me again but I must come clean on everything that I have done up to now and relieve everything to everyone that is in my life. What should I do???

I suggest you see a counselor.
I don't think you need a marriage counselor, I think you need individual therapy.
I also suggest that you need to grow up and gather some willpower to stop this. Your issues don't control you, YOU control your actions. If you love your husband so much then stop treating him like crap by sleeping with other people. If you can't control yourself like an adult with any kind of conscience, then please do your husband a favor and serve some divorce papers because he doesn't deserve this awful treatment from someone who is supposed to love him.
If he had written here instead of you, we'd be telling him to run as far and fast as he can.
It sounds to me like maybe you need to be alone ... to figure all of it out on your own ... without the enabling of men.
I don't think you need a marriage counselor I think you need to see a therapist to learn what causes you to seek the attention of men. You have a husband you love and are happy with but still need attention from others which is not right. Also, your husband should seek therapy to figure out why he is willing to put up with your behavior, sounds like he is either really forgiving or he lack self esteem.
Good luck
First of all you seriously need good psychological help. It sounds as if you have various addictions and compulsions that are beyond your control. It is wonderful that your husband forgives you, and yes, of course, you must come clean and tell the truth, but that will not solve the problems you are going through. They require a well trained psychologist and for you to make a committment to go to therapy in a dedicated way and really face what's going on inside, what' s driving you, and how to get well. There are many people in your life who are being affected by your illness at the present time, including your child. I strongly urge you to get the help you need right away.
Best wishes,
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