need help with his parents

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
need help with his parents
6
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 2:08am
I have been in my relationship for 3 yrs.We are now in the process of buying a house together and we are staying at his parents while the contract is being done. and every time i turn around his parents undermind everything i say for paint color to dealing with my family and i need some advice. can someone please help me fast!!!
TORI
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 12:45pm

Hi! I hear your frustrations. I have dealt with my in laws many times. I used to get so frustrated. I didn't want to hurt their feelings and make my hubby mad, but sometimes things just needed to be said. They usually come and stay with us for weeks at a time. Last year they stayed for 6 months. I had similar issues. I came clean with them. Told them exactly what I was feeling and ask them to stop.

Kari,

Happily married & mommy of 3 in 07!

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 2:47pm

It's up to your husband to intervene with his parents and stand up for you. Let him know that their behavior is causing you to feel demeaned and disrespected and as they are his parents he has to step up and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 2:51pm

Welcome to the board torilarson,


momof3nnov gave you some good advice. If you decide to talk to them, do so in a way that does not make them wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 11:59pm
i have told him how i feel and his response is " i just don't understand why it bugs you so bad", or "i am tired of it to" . but, he can never back me up when i can't stand anymore of it.
TORI
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 5:37pm

Sounds like you are getting unsolicited advice that you disagree with. You can just ignore it or thank them for their input and just do what you are going to do anyway. Don't see how you are being undermined if your boyfriend agrees and is not changing decisions already made based on his parents advice. I doubt they are doing this out of malice, they are probably just making suggestions and are unaware of how you are taking them.

These people were good enough to take you into their home,and hopefully it won't take much longer to get your house. Instead of a problem this is actually a good opportunity for you Tori to forge a relationship with what may be your future inlaws. Don't blow it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 09-18-2008 - 8:43pm

I'm speaking from YEARS of experience with my husband not standing up for me to his family.