Need Help understandng the Fiance

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2008
Need Help understandng the Fiance
6
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 1:15am

This is my 1st time posting, so forgive me if it seems I'm rattling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 4:53am

Bblair, you've given many very good reasons why you are not satisified with this relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2008
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 8:12am
Thanx Trueblue. To answer your 1st question, I stay because I love her. In my mind Not getting what I need from a relationship for 5-6 months is not reason enough to want to leave. Understanding that when you are talking about getting married that it is a lifetime commitment, and during that lifetime there will be ebbs and flows in the relationship. You do make some very good points with regard to me accepting whether she'd ever be able to have a truly healthy and stable relationship and how that could affect my children. I must say that the implications of that are truly a hard pill for me to swallow. I have been blunt however in therapy with how my needs aren't getting met, and it always gets turned into dealing with her issues again and my need to be understanding. I even got asked, why is sex so important to me? Which to me is really unfair. Why, because you're my future wife for Gods sake! And in normal relationships sex is a way for adults to express their love and affection for one another that's all! I mean, who has to justify wanting to be intimate with their significant other? Sure their are other ways to be intimate without having sex. But if sex were not important then why would it matter if I went outside of the relationship to get it? Not only that, but sex seemed to be important to her for the 1st year and a half of the relatioship. Was I just sold a bill of goods regarding this issue? I don't know. I just feel like if your significant other comes to you expressing what they need to be happy, and if there is something you can do, and it doesn't hurt you, then you should want to you know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 11:07am

bblair2008,


I can understand.

CherMac612
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2008
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 12:19pm
Just got off of the phone with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 1:07pm

Welcome to the board bblair2008,


If she's that tired, but claims not to be depressed, she's either got something physically wrong with her (thyroid maybe) or she's in denial.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 4:13pm

Sorry to hear that. I guess you need to ask her if she is willing to try to work it out, don't be surprised if she says no. Try to get some help, maybe she's afraid of the commitment.

CherMac612