Need help, wife does not like sex
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Need help, wife does not like sex
| Tue, 07-10-2007 - 4:24pm |
Let me start with a little info on us. I'm 36, wife is 32. 2 beautiful daughters age 5 & 2. We've both been married before and have been married to each other for 5 1/2 years. Up until recently, all has been well or so I thought. Through some small arguements (arguements are rare with us) the topic came up that she never initiates sex and she replied saying that she does not enjoy sex, never has, not with me, not with anyone and said that if she never had it again it would be fine with her. She said that even though she does have orgasmisms, she still hates sex and now does not intend to have it again. She says she still loves me and does not want to leave or me to leave either, she just does not like sex. I'm having a difficult time with this as not only are we still fairly young, but I still feel a need for that closeness that I feel when we have sex. Here all along I thought that these intimate moments were something that we shared and the closeness that was felt was real when in reality, she has been hating it. Is this normal for a women to feel this way about sex? and to have felt this way about it all her life. Please help, I want my wife back I really love her and want to be together. What if anything can I do to help? Counseling maybe?

Your wife needs help, counseling yes, and with a very good person. There are underlying reasons why she doesn't like sex and, if she wants to stay in a relationship, she needs to work this out. It's completely unreasonable and unfair to ask you to stay in a marriage with her and be celibate. That's not a marriage, it's a friendship. Her unwillingness to have sex anymore affects not only her, but you. It's not a choice she can make for herself - because it includes you as well. Let her know that you have no intention of being celibate for the rest of your life and if she wants the marriage to continue, she needs to work this out.
This may sound harsh, but it is simply a dose of reality. How else does she expect you to meet your needs for closeness and love which are healthy needs which you have every right to fulfill.
Best wishes,
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