Need help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Need help!!
12
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 9:54pm

Hello, this is my first time posting and I thought I would try because I'm at a loss...

My bf and I have been together 5 months. It started out great, we had great chemistry, we both felt like we found "the one". I'm 31 and divorced. He has been divorced too. The problem is, he has major trust issues that he did tell me about, but I never understood the full extent until recently. We are living together and I moved a few hours to be with him. I was ready to move to a new town anyway and make a fresh start and he was like no one else I had ever met, he's a little older than me and I trusted that if I moved here, i wouldn't regret it. He was so romantic, affectionate, communicative, treated me like a princess, just seemed perfect. However, since I moved in, we've had a hard time. he spent a lot of time and money fixing my car, he had money stolen from him, I started a new job and new school, I started having health problems. we've just been hit hard with life circumstances.

I felt so guilty for all of it and I think I pushed him away, unknowingly. That is the last thing I wanted to do, but he says I pushed him away and now he needs time and doesn't know if we have a future. Just wants to take it one day at a time. I feel that whatever I did doesn't warrant him telling me he is having a hard time trusting me now. He said he's emotionally shut down. He's been hurt in the past, been cheated on, taken advantage of, but I want him to know I'm not like those other women.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: elle910
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 11:26am
Well then start stashing away as much dough as you can and chalk this down to a bad and hasty decision that you learned a BIG lesson from. Never make big decisions about your future when your in the throes of infatuation with a man. GOOD LUCK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
In reply to: elle910
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 5:49pm

Absolutely. I thought I was smarter than this, but hey lesson learned. I had never experienced this before, got married young and this was only my 2nd real relationship in my life. I know, late bloomer! But, I think everything happens for a reason, as cliche as that sounds, and if I didn't learn it now, I would have learned it eventually.

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