Need to learn to trust...
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Need to learn to trust...
| Sun, 02-08-2004 - 6:07pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. He's lied to me, but not anything 'harmful' I guess you can say... they were just 'white lies' (ex: we were to have dinner together, but he was late because he got stuck at work, when I found out he actually forgot and was drinking with his friends). Anyway, I've had a lot of trouble trusting him. It's been a problem since we got together... not because of him but because of me and my past relationships (but then again I guess the 'white lies' don't help). He goes out of town a lot for work, and he goes drinking with his friends and no matter what I can't help but think he'll meet or 'hook up' with someone else. I'll call him when he's out with his friends and he'll answer, and we'll talk for a minute and he'll say he loves me when he hangs up, so I can't imagine anything would actually be true, but how can I get these thoughts out of my head? I used to voice my insecurities to him, but it would only make him upset so now I'm just keeping it to myself. It's starting to consume me though. I'm having dreams about him with other women and I can't figure out why. He's such a great guy, and he is liked by everyone, and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin our relationship because of my stupid insecurities. I feel like a psycho. Please help me!
Signatures On
| Sun, 02-08-2004 - 8:28pm |
I dont really know what to tell you because I am in the same boat. My husband and I are having problems and I let it take over my thoughts and right now we are not even living together because of it. Its hard to trust someone even when they are telling you little white lies. My husband is lying about smoking...I guess its just hard because no matter how little or large the lie, you hate to be lied to by someone you love. Just try to hang in there and realize that he loves you. He is telling you he loves you, hes with you and the whole reason for the white lies is probably because he didnt want you to be dissapointed. You should probably tell him that even though hes doing it because he feels bad, that it still hurts and youd feel better if he was honest, no matter what. Thats the only advice I can give..spending this time apart from my husband, I realized there was a lot I needed to change, and that was my being scared he was lying about more...dont let it ruin your relationship. Believe me, it sucks!
| Sun, 02-08-2004 - 9:32pm |
I happen to be the person on the other side... my boyfriend has trust issues with me. We have been together for almost two years and since the beginning he has not trusted me 100%. I have never been unfaithful to him and he still continues to not trust me. At first I would tell him over and over how much I love him and that I would never hurt him... and he still did not trust me... and honestly I am just fed up. My point is that unless you have real reason not to trust him, really think about your actions and what you say. I am at the point right now that I am just tired of being accused of things that I am not doing of even thinking of doing. I keep thinking that I as mush as I love him I may be better off with someone else. My advise to you is that unless you have good reason not to trust him... stop accusing him of things. In the long run you are going to lose… perhaps your insecurities are coming from your past relationships or maybe because of things that you have done or are doing.
