Need a lot of advice here

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2007
Need a lot of advice here
4
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 11:50pm

I need to find a delicate way to tell my boyfriend that he needs to lose weight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 12:54am

aw. i am so sorry to hear that. I don't have any advice for you on that dept. on telling w.o hurting him. My bf was pretty fit when we first started dating. After a while he gain some weight, and I told him he is getting fat. :( I know it is mean, but I just don't know how to tell someone they are gaining weight without hurting their feelings. My bf didn't take offense to it. He just started working out again. :) Hopefully, yours will too. and let me know if you find a gentle way to tell someone w.o hurthing their feelings.

A person weight is always such a touchy subject in america,

ukia

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 2:08am

I actually just dealt with this with my husband.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 8:28am

While I'm always in favour of people getting fit and healthy, do you realise that you can address this issue without asking him to lose weight?


Instead of tackling the weight issue, you could have him alter the sex position.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 09-24-2007 - 10:04am

I totally agree with this advice. Coming out and saying "I need you to lose weight because you crush me during sex" sounds too harsh, no matter how kind your intentions are. If you phrase it that way he will most likely become defensive and either angry or sad, and will be less inclined to do anything for you.

Change positions, tell him you want to be on top more often, et cetera. If and when he asks why you don't want him on top anymore, tell him honestly that it hurts and you have a hard time breathing.

From that, he will either realize that you can't do it that way anymore or will draw his own conclusion about his weight.