Need opinions about me feeling insecure

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Need opinions about me feeling insecure
14
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:07am

Before anything is said about my previous post I just want to say that I have been really trying to deal with my own issues with jealousy and insecurity

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 11:56am

Here is a link to your previous post.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 12:26pm

You feel that you're insecure......maybe yes, maybe no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 12:44pm

I can see where your insecurity is coming from. Do you think it was a coincidence that she texted him at 11pm from the same club you were planning on going to? It sounds like she was expecting him to come there, like he texted her and told her he was going to be there that nite. Your BF is obviously attracted to and it sure sounds like he wants to sleep with this woman. But instead of cheating on you he's feeling you out to see if you would go along with the threesome plan. In other words he wants to move his fantasy into reality and is hoping you'll be agreeable to this. So what you need to do is NOT IGNORE this and talk about it with him because I would bet that this is going to be brought up again. And I understand all men have fantasies, but now he really wants this to happen or he would not have suggested it. So now there's always that chance that if you say no he will try to sleep with her and hide it from you. So if it were me I'd probably break up with a BF that would even make such a suggestion, and now that he's said it, this is just going to make your insecurity even worse, especially with them hanging out and texting back and forth. Maybe you should suggest bringing another man into the bedroom to sleep with you and see how he'd like it. Let him see this from your angle. The thing is if you would agree to this (even just once) you would be opening a big can of worms, and I can guarantee you it would not be the end of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 12:55pm

Ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 1:02pm

Peaceyma I have thought and thought over whether the texting at 11 at the same club was a coincidence.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 1:33pm
What you need to do is tell him "I'm absolutely not comfortable with any of this", the texting back and forth all the time, and especially the threesome suggestion. The big thing here is that I can tell you really don't trust him around this woman (as also suggested in your previous posts) and she is going to continue to be a huge source of problems for you if you stay with him and he remains such close friends with her. So I really don't see this working out in the end as long as she remains in the picture. Another thing is how does he act with his phone around you? Does he let you use his phone, look thru the texts between them etc. Or is he deleting them? The way he acts with his phone around you could tell you a lot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 1:39pm
Have you considered the possibility that he was planning a threesome & that her being at the same club was not merely a coincidence? From what you have written, it sounds very much as if he has been "grooming" you for just that--chipping away at your boundaries a little at a time by using your insecurities to convince you that you are "over-reacting" and to doubt yourself. It seems to me that the best thing to do is to lay it all on the line & let him know exactly where you stand--where the fantasy games end and your boundaries begin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 1:48pm

As far as his phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 1:58pm
Yeah, the taking the phone in the bathroom with them is always a bit suspicious, especially when they never do. So it sounds like there was a method to your madness as far as the texting game goes. And he fell right into your trap so to speak.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 2:43pm

It is becoming pretty apparent that there is a strong chance that your BF is pushing zones, to see just how far he can go.

Photobucket

Pages