need a second opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2007
need a second opinion
5
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 1:15pm
Maybe im just overeacting but i would like to know how many of you think its ok for your man to have female friends?My boyfriend has started his community service 4 days ago and since starting has became *friends* with another volunteer,she gave him her number and he has not been acting 100% himself, still wants sex,doesnt take private calls, he just seems quieter? Is it possible maybe his intentions are just friends?
pregnancy calendar
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 11-04-2007 - 2:24pm

What do you mean by he doesn't take private calls? Are they your calls? The woman's calls? Has he explained to you why she gave him her number? Has he invited you to meet her? Does she know he has a girlfriend?


Also, do you have reason to believe he is the lying, cheating type??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 10:34am

Welcome to the board luvstruck2007,


What behavior is he doing to make you think they are more than friends? Has he ever done anything before to make you not trust him?


I do think if the circumstances are right it is okay for a guy in a committed relationship to have female friends. I think you should met her also.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 12:45pm

He is quiet about this female, or does he talk to you about her openly?

Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
It was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth fr

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 9:18am

Some women do not feel secure with their partner having friends of the opposite sex - others do. A lot depends upon the man and how he treats you and how his new friendship affects your relationship. The most important point here, however, is that trust is the basic ingredient of all relationships. If you do not trust him to care for you the most, then it's important for you to understand why you have this insecurity. Can you talk this over with him? Do you trust that he will be honest with you? Try that. And also, of course, if you notice a real change in his behavior over a period of time, that certainly has to be dealt with. In that case, you can then ask him to end the friendship.


Basically, it is your choice. If, for starters, you simply feel too uneasy about this friendship, you do have a right to ask him to let it go. Ask him how he would feel if you had a friendship, such as this, with another man? That question often puts things in perspective.


Best wishes to you,l

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 1:10pm

Welcome to the board luvstruck2007,


You've gotten some good advice, what do you think?