Need sex advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Need sex advice
5
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 9:50pm
Hey, im new to this but desperately need some help. I just had a baby four months and am nursing him. In the past my husband and i have had no problems with our sex life. Now its non-existent. And its not him. Its me. Ive heard that nursing can do this, but it didnt with my other two boys whom i also nursed. Do you have any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 10:25pm
Hello Texasmomma2007! Let me start off by saying that I've never been married or have children. So please take my 2 pennies with a grain of salt. My first question is are the other two children by your husband? Second question is (and please tell me if this is too personal) was the last child planned? Although, I'm not a mother I do lurk on the other iVillage boards regarding children, (basically to have and/or not) and also the effect on the sex drive for mothers and also the dads. Some new parents look at sex so differently, once a newborn is in the picture, even thou it's not your first. Like I said above, I'm neither married or with children. I truly hope the other experienced iVillagers will come in with their great advice. Take care and God Bless you and yours.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 11:06pm
Thank you for replying. My oldest is not my husbands biological son, but they treat each other as if he is. The baby was not planned, no. But, I have since had tubal done, so there is no need to worry about another one. Do you have any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 11:30pm

Hi texasmomma and welcome to the board,


Every pregnancy is different and therefore the hormonal changes can also effect you differently from one pregnancy to the next, even while nursing.


Do you think it's becuase you are tired?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:16am

Sometimes exhaustion, chemical changes after pregnancy and nursing, or other inner feelings can temporarily suspend sexual desire. Sometimes depression causes this. Give yourself a little time to adjust to the new child, the nursing and your own body now. Rest up, communicate with your husband in all other ways, be open, talk, share feeings, listen, do massages and find a way to spend some quality time together. If your sexual desire does not return on its own in a reasonable amount of time, consult a physician or psychologist.


All the best,

Avatar for bubblebath1969
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 12:23pm
From my experience, yes it can. My advice to you is use a lot of LUBE and do it anyway! Keep your marriage in that spot so you are not going through what I am going through after two babies and not having a sex drive. My husband has lost his 'emotional connection' to me and is 'trying to get it back' but it is pure hell. If I could do it all again, I would just do it even though I didn't feel like it...just my opinion. Good Luck.