Need some sex advice!
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Need some sex advice!
| Thu, 07-19-2007 - 7:32pm |
Hello.
My husband and i have been together for four years total. We are so in love but just one thing is missing. SEX! We do it at least 3 times a week but lets just say the quality isn't the best for me. Everything is great for him. About 3 years ago I had some surgery down in my girly area, after that i couldn't do it for about 3 weeks. When we finally did it was the worst pain in the world. Needless to say i have had only a hand full of times since then that i actually enjoyed sex. I enjoy giving him oral and other thing like that but when it comes to sex and me, we just don't click. I love my husband very much and i know he want me to enjoy sex just as much as him but for some reason i don't. Before the surgery everything was wonderful. We were like rabbits. But now....hmmm. I need some help. Does anyone have any tips to i quess awaken me and my desires? Thanks.
My husband and i have been together for four years total. We are so in love but just one thing is missing. SEX! We do it at least 3 times a week but lets just say the quality isn't the best for me. Everything is great for him. About 3 years ago I had some surgery down in my girly area, after that i couldn't do it for about 3 weeks. When we finally did it was the worst pain in the world. Needless to say i have had only a hand full of times since then that i actually enjoyed sex. I enjoy giving him oral and other thing like that but when it comes to sex and me, we just don't click. I love my husband very much and i know he want me to enjoy sex just as much as him but for some reason i don't. Before the surgery everything was wonderful. We were like rabbits. But now....hmmm. I need some help. Does anyone have any tips to i quess awaken me and my desires? Thanks.

It's possible that there may be a physical, medical component to this problem. Firstly, I'd check with a medical doctor. If there is no physical reason, then there are underlying psychological causes, either as a result of the surgery (surgery can bring up psychological issues in its wake), or just in general, that you are not aware of. If you once did enjoy sex, you can again. I'd go to a medical doctor to check and if there's no physical issue I'd find a good therapist and sit down and work it out.
Best wishes,
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I'm really sorry, but this is a serious problem, and tips and tricks are out of place here. We have no tips that will get you past this obstacle to a happy sex life. If you have been to several doctors, and they all say the same thing, then there are a few possibilities:
1. You aren't functioning as normally as you think you are, and it shows to everyone but you (or it shows to people, like doctors, who aren't with you all the time)
2. There is a hierarchy of treatments that has to be worked through to find one that will help you, and you are short-circuiting the process by refusing the first step.
3. It's beyond your doctor's ability to handle, and you need a referral to a specialist.
I sincerely encourage you to go back to the doctor and ask about these possibilities. If you have the kind of doctor who brushes off your questions, get another one. You need a physician who will be your partner in solving this very difficult problem.
Well. thanks but no thanks.
I went to a non medical hypotherapist last night. She was spectacular. she tought me how to channel my thoughts and feeling. she also gave me some mental excercises that would help me during my meditation time. in otherwords i had good sex last night, not great but its getting there. thanks, but i don't do doctors. all they want is to sell medications. I ended up getting tumors because i listen to a doc years ago. i don't think docs are the answer to everything. i like the more natural options.