Need Wise Female Advice Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Need Wise Female Advice Please
33
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 1:40pm
I normally don't date people I work with. However, I recently went on a date with a beautiful, intelligent, and level-headed (I thought) woman that I met at a reception. We went out to dinner and returned to my apartment and talked for about an hour or so. We kissed on my couch for a while and things started to get heavy. She started to perform oral sex on me. After a while, I asked her if I could finish in her mouth. She stopped and looked upset and hurt. I tried to ask her what was wrong and if I had said something inappropriate. She wouldn't discuss it and asked to be driven home, which I did. I tried to kiss her goodnight but I received a turned cheek. I haven't called her yet and am perplexed as to what I should do.



Should I have not asked her about 'finishing' in her mouth? Should I have just done it and not asked her first? Does she think that I treated her like a 'dirty girl'? I would like to call her and clear things up because I'm going to see her in the halls. Have you ever been in a similar situation or could you offer me some advice. This isn't an issue I would ask my female friends about.



Thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 1:50pm
Hmmm.. I don't understand why she would be offended at what you said considering she was having sex with someone she just met. Are those the exact words you used?

Unfortunately I don't think anyone here can tell you what she is thinking.

You can try to talk to her and at least you know that you tried.

Do you want to see her again? Maybe reality hit and she is embarrassed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:02pm
Thanks for your reply. Well, I didn't say 'finish' ... I asked if I could 'cum' in her mouth. I just didn't want it to come as a surprise to her because I know some women don't want sperm in their mouth, understandably. Is 'cum' a dirty word?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:24pm
Seems to me this is about as hilarious as it gets.... a first date that ends with her performing oral sex and you're ASKING her if you can finish in her mouth? Why didn't you assume that a woman giving oral sex would either stop prior to that point....or would continue at that point on her own volition? I mean, anybody giving oral sex on date #1, has given oral sex on date 1 to plenty of guys.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:27pm
Again, the woman is having sex on a first date so I can't see how she could become so offended by that word. I can't imagine that is the larger issue.

Do you want to see her again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:32pm
Thanks for your reply! I guess I didn't want there to be an uncomfortable situation where I came in her mouth and she wasn't ready for it. I assumed that she would tell me that it was fine ... I just wanted to be sure. Why do you think she reacted the way she did?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:33pm
I don't know why she'd be upset...she was already giving you head, it seems like a normal question to ask. I'd call her and ask her what's up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:36pm
First, I can't believe she was giving you oral sex on a first date! But, to each their own. My b/f of three yrs. always asks if he could do that in my mouth..and it still kind of offend's me. Like I'm some teritory that he has to "mark"?. Some girls like this, but I think she was hoping for a more "roamantic" one night stand, and there's a diff. in being romantic amd offensive. Some gals find this degrading. She's not a porn star, and it's not a request you should be asking someone you just met.If she asked you to, then that's diff. If you were in a relationship for a while, then she might have been more comfortable, like me and my beau, we laugh about it sometimes, but I would never let him do it on my face. I think it 's gross!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:37pm
I guess I probably don't want to see her again ... but I will eventually at work. hhmmm...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:45pm
That was a romantic first date up until that point????
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 2:48pm
Then decide what you want to do. If you don't want to see her again but want things to be on comfortable ground think about calling her and clearing the air about what happened. Of course she may like you and want to pursue you romantically even though things were just sexual for you so be catious.

Or are you posting here to get advice on what to the next time you are in a compromising position?

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