Needing Advice please:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Needing Advice please:)
5
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 10:19pm
ok so need a little help here if you all don't mind:)...my boyfriend is older than me...by about 13 years and I have a lot of paranoid thoughts that maybe things would be easier if we were both with someone our own age and what if he wants to be with someone because I don't make him happy. All of these thoughts just keep going round and roung my mind and I don't know how to just make them go away. ya know?:) hope I'm making sense. I really love and care for him but I just don't know anymore. Need some advice. I also need some advice because one night his friend was having problems with her husband and he told me that she was coming over to his place for coffee and a week later he told me she ended up sleeping on the sofa....I'm a little upset but that's only natural right? hoping for some advice:) thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 3:06am
How long have you been dating? How old are you? Why are you feeling so insecure?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 3:12pm

Welcome to the board suzieq87,


In any relationship, you will have to work on your insecurities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 4:09pm
I am 20 years old and we've been dating for almost 2 years now....I don't really know why I have insecurities about him and I...maybe I just find myself lacking something that in my mind he should want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 4:25pm

That's a BIG gap considering your respective ages. In terms of development and maturity, you are oceans apart. I'm not saying you are immature, I'm just saying that in the next 15 years you will change and grow A LOT! It may just be that you're starting to outgrow your boyfriend and that it's time to move on and date/have fun/grow with guys your own age.

...and maybe HE is lacking something that YOU want...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 7:56pm
You are completely right...it is a VERY big gap between the ages. I know what you're saying when it comes to maturity that is a BIG factor in relationships, especially for me. I know---I've also been thinking about how I just want to go out do things that people my age do and just live it up while I want to...and I've also been thinking about how maybe HE is lacking something that I want...I just have no clue what that something is right now...
but then again I also feel kinda selfish thinking about it because I do care about him very much and I just feel like I would be giving up if I ended things...like I didn't try hard enough to keep us together. hope that makes sense.