new and dont know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2007
new and dont know what to do
7
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 1:22pm
not sure where to start but new to dating after divorce(10yrs married its been 3years since the divorce) and thought i met the man of my dreams...yesterday i read an email that i shouldnt have on his computer and it was to an ex in which he said that his summer was good but would be better if it was with her...i was heart broken and approached him in which he said he was being nice and he was trying to make her feel good but that it couldnt be more untrue and that this summer has been the best summer of his life with me. it has been only about 2 months but since we were both off for the summer we have basically been together 24/7. is this a terrible sign and should i just keep looking for someone more honest? please give me advice..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 1:33pm
To me, this is not a good sign. He says he was being 'nice' to her, but was he being just as 'nice' to appease you too? Are there any other indicators that he's doing somethng untoward? If not, I would just keep an eye on him and see how things progress/regress...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:18pm
He's either stringing her along, or still emotionally attached to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 6:58pm

Maybe he is stringing them both along.

Poster: Being nice to an ex doesn't include lying to them about your feelings. This just justifies that he is a liar and you can't trust him. I am sorry. Is he very remorseful?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 11:33pm
yes he is very remorseful and actually wrote her another letter in front of me saying what a great relationship he is in right now and he has found someone who things are really perfect with that he sees a definite future with...i'm really not sure it makes me feel better but he swears that he had the best summer of his life with me and that it was a mistake lying to her and how stupid it was to do that...i can just keep an eye on him but i dont know how i can forgive him-is it wrong for me not to? ..thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:51pm
why is he communicating with her?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:12pm
Move on. I wouldn't be able to trust anything else out of his mouth! Been there done that!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:11pm

Well, it's a warning note for sure. The larger question is why is he writing to his ex at all? He shouldn't be if he's with you 24/7. Is he truly over the relationship? Old ties and also guilt can hang in for awhile.