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new here - need women to talk to
| Sat, 06-26-2004 - 3:28am |
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year - he is great (usually), he's funny, smart, attractive - the problem is that I've had a lot of abusive boyfriends in the past and I have problems trusting people with my feelings - he doesn't understand why I don't tell him every little thing about why I feel bad sometimes. A bigger problem is that he doesn't understand that sometimes I feel bad for no reason. I wouldn't mind the poking and prodding about why I"m upset so much except...it makes me more upset and then he gets upset and thinks it's all his fault (which it usually isn't) and then the whole conversation turns to something about him. I've talked to him about it, told him that when I'm uspet I may not want to talk about it but I also don't want to talk about other people's problems because it will just make me feel worse. The worst part is that in the end I always end up feeling bad about feeling bad.
I don't know what to do - I love him, but sometimes I just get so frustrated. I don't have many female friends because I grew up around all guys so I don't have many girls to talk to and get advise about things like this - I want female friends, but I'm at a point where I've gone so long without them that I have no idea how to go about making lasting friendships with girls. My boyfriend also nags me about this sometimes - it's not that he's jealous of my friends because he's become good friends with all of them too but he just doesn't understand how intimidating other women are to me.
I don't know what to do...I need advise!
I don't know what to do - I love him, but sometimes I just get so frustrated. I don't have many female friends because I grew up around all guys so I don't have many girls to talk to and get advise about things like this - I want female friends, but I'm at a point where I've gone so long without them that I have no idea how to go about making lasting friendships with girls. My boyfriend also nags me about this sometimes - it's not that he's jealous of my friends because he's become good friends with all of them too but he just doesn't understand how intimidating other women are to me.
I don't know what to do...I need advise!

Second, I don't really see what is wrong with him wanting to get you to talk about your feelings but those times when you don't feel like talking about it you are going to have to let him know before he tries to pry it out of you. Say 'I am in a bad mood and I need some time alone' before you see him that day. You don'thave to be around him when this happens do you?
Third, get involved and meet other people. Do some volunteer work for abused kids or another interest. Take classes, get a hobby and meet other women like you.