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|Mon, 08-27-2012 - 2:43pm|
Hi, my name is Julie and I've been married for nearly 9 yrs and have 2 DD's - 6 and 3. About 4 yrs ago, when I was pg with DD#2, I found out my DH had cheated on me 3 yrs into our supposed committed relationship, 2 years prior to getting married. I was devastated. I asked him to go to marriage counseling with me but he refused. However, I went to therapy on my own until DD# 2 was born. DD was born sick shortly after and nearly died. She was in the hospital for 9 weeks and I placed my heartache on a back burner. During the past 3-4 yrs DH and I have argued... a lot. He also became very critical of everything I did, and I, in turn, became more defensive and, as he claims, have avoided him. About 4 mos ago he threatened to leave (2 nd time he had threatened actually within a month's time) and, in my mind, I said "so be it". I again asked him to go to counseling with me but he refused. was sick of the uncertainty and the arguing. He had become VERY critical of me and we had lost a lt of respect for each other. I also don't like the way he talks to me and the kids at times, usually when he's stressed with work. Again, I went on my own. However, for the last 4 mos I have felt emotionally disconnected from DH and I just haven't felt happy with him. I've actually even wandered what life would be like if I met someone else...or had I found out he had cheated and had left then. Anyway, I told him how I was feeling and told him it was wither MC or separation. He was somewhat devastated, said I hadn't loved him in years and always avoided him, etc, etc. We;ve been to marriage counseling twice, and he is starting to recognize the issues and to take responsibility...but I still just don't feel connected with him. I don't even enjoy going out to dinner alone with him. I know we've only gone twice, but am I afraid that too much damage has been done. What's your take on this? Anyone felt this way? Thanks.