new mommy and confused
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new mommy and confused
| Sat, 05-01-2004 - 7:46pm |
i'm going to try my hardest to keep this as brief as possible. i just had a beautiful baby girl with my beau of a little over two years. i'm really excited about being a mommy and everything is going great with my new daughter. my boyfriend and i...well i don't know how to put it. he's a good guy, but he's so...right now he's very self absorbed. he was at the hospital through the entire labor and delivery. i appreciated him being there, but he was on and off the phone the entire time. and when i say the entire time, i mean the ENTIRE time. he stayed with me the two nights i was at the hospital, supposedly to help me out. he slept all night long, while i got in and out of bed alone to get the baby to feed her, change her, and whatever else needed to be done. he not once offered to help me. to make a long story short. he graduates from grad school next sunday and has been offered a job in another state. he's asked me to move with him. it would seem like a good idea since he's going to be working in the area that i was living and going to school in before the pregnancy, but i'm just not sure if it's the right move. he hasn't had a job so he's been broke and unable to help purchase things for the baby. he said that grad school was so intense that he didn't have time to work. i on the other hand, sat out of school, found a job, and worked up until a day before i went to the hospital to have the baby. the bottom line is, i'm taking care of the baby completely without his help, he doesn't seem concerned at all about her (though i'm sure he loves his child), and he hasn't even tried to prepare himself for her arrival. i don't want to move with him and he still not help, or without knowing what the future holds for us. i think i somewhat resent him for being about to finish school and getting a great job while i've had to walk around alone and pregnant for the past nine months working a job that pays the bills but has no future. now the baby's here, i'm the one up with her at night, feeding her, changing her diapers while he hangs out with his friends, spending money he claims to not have, not contributing to any of her expenses. when i try to discuss these feelings with him, he only reminds me of his situation and is irritated. what should i do? i want to finish my degree. i want him to show some concern. i want him to help with our baby. she'll be fine and well taken care of even if he doesn't step up, but he should. i didn't make this baby alone. advice and comments PLEASE!!!!

hi and congrats on your baby! i also was wondering if you spoke with him (not complaining, but talking with him) about any of this. and what he said. also i was wondering if this was a planned pregnancy on both your parts, did you discuss and plan this baby, because it sounds as if YOU are ready for the baby but HE isn't.
you are right, you did not make this baby on your own, and he has responsibilities.