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New & need advice
| Fri, 08-10-2007 - 2:17pm |
Hi. I am 34y/o and my husband is 50. We have been together for about 10 years and married 9 1/2 years. I am on SSDI because I have MS and suffer from depression and low self esteem. He works for an fuel oil company doing delivers and he is also the asst. chief for the vol. fire company. He has suffered from ED in the past and he has viagra for that but he never wants to have sex. I don't bother him during the week because does work hard and he is tired at night and has to get up early. But I could ask him on Sunday or Monday if we could fool around over the weekend and he would says yes. Then nothing happens and we have had this problem in the past so I would try to start something and he would turn me down and that just made me feel worst about myself. I get three kisses at night before we go to sleep and that is it. Unless I ask for a kiss. The only other time he touches me is to give me my shot for the MS. Which is every other night for another week then I am out of needles. I don't know what to do anymore the last time we made love was in March and that was one time I started and he didn't turn me down. When we first got together and up to maybe four years ago everything was fine. Help I don't know what to do. It seems like I am giving 100% to the marriage and he might be giving 20%. I just need some advice
TTFN
Dana
TTFN
Dana

Perhaps your having MS has affected him in some way? Perhaps he feels worried about this? I'm not sure. I don't know the details of your situation, but it does
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Welcome to the board tiggerdana,
Have you tired to have a conversation about this when you aren't in bed?
maybe he feels pressured about it....maybe you need to try something else (ask him what) that will help you get things going. Is he interested in satisfying you in other ways? Really, the two of you need to speak openly about this and maybe resolve some of what isn't being said. Like the dr. said; something is keeping him from giving you what you need. Is it the lack of open and honest communication about both (not just yours) of your sexual needs? Is it that sometimes people in relationships feel like they are giving way more than they are getting. If this happens, they aren't as open to giving in other ways (like sexually).
maybe temporary help for the two of you to communicate more about this? I think a counselor (like the dr. here) will almost always support that married couples need a sexual life together. More help may help the two of you get yours back on track. GL